Packed work finally starts

Finally going to go away for a long week... 7days it is. This time to new york city. Although not flying with Ber, but I'm all well packed with my bible, notebook, notes and CDs, and most importantly my laptop. Can't wait to be away..away from home, away... I look forward to work and coming back to attend Evelyn's wedding dinner. So cool...gotta wear my pink lace dress. Actually bought this dress for a special reason, but..it doesn't matters anymore. Shall look ahead and move on...I am...moving on. Ok gotta eat dinner... Miss Ya Ber ber..

Jesus my Lord my Life

Jus came back from church. Bought this CD sang by the church...all my fav songs..well not all la, some...One of them is Jesus my Lord my life.

You take my hand

And lead me to Your side

Your warm embrace

Sets my heart on fire

You are my shelter

God of all wonders

You are the hero of my life

I live for You

The saviour of my life

Your love for me

Is wider than the skies

You are my shelter

God of all wonders

You are the hero of my life

You came for me

Your life for mine

When I couldn't save myself

You bore my pain

My sin my shame

Jesus my Lord my life

This is one of my favourite...also there is I'm held by your love by Adeline, but in this CD it's sung by Sean Goh. A Very lovely song.

Jus cried over nothing! I have no idea what's wrong with me...so people..I know u care, Jus STOP asking me, for I, myself have no idea at all too? Or am I jus running away from it all. I know it, but just that I'm not facing it? I expect overly too much from nobody and myself? What's my problem? I do not know how to express it out, just STOP asking me. Just STOP, cos I don't have an answer myself.

Listening to the CD now...perspiring as well..been like this the whole day, I ask for it. I ask to be sick and it happens, curse by my own mouth. Haha... Speaking is the only work to express faith. Keep on speaking faith. Believe in the heart and speak in the mouth. Of cos and the world is naturally negative, jus like me in the world, so negative. I'm crawling out of the world, to be in heaven on the throne with Jesus. Or should I say I have already crawled out, and He is with me always cos He does not fail, his promise will definately be a promise. He will not lie. He's always there... He lifts me up. He's my saviour, my Lord, my God....My Jesus Christ.

He has blessed me with so many frens... can I use the word many? Well here and there, about more than 5? The more than 5 are the ones whose always there for me. "The many frens" are really many, for all the new people that I meet during my work, or jus people from the net, or fren's fren. I am not alone, but why do I feel so alone sometimes? That's between me and God. Loved flying with Ber, cos so that we ccan talked all day about Jesus, learning more about Him. I used to give advice to people about things, about life? But now, I, myself needed the counselling. I may seems strong to some, why do they look upon me? I don't find myself strong at all... I'm just me...me...and me...not weak but also not so fragile. Just STOP labelling me as strong. I'm just me. Just a plain simple me. God loves me for who I am, and I do not have to care what other jealous people are talking about behind my back. I'm feeling much better now. Thanks pal..for accompanying me! Thank you Jesus... And we all say....AMEN!!!

eating grass season

Something is wrong with my blog...wat the heck...hm.... I proudly announce that it's the Grass eating season for me this month. Haha... Jus came back from the stupid 4day KL pattern again..yes once again. But all will be well next month when I have 3 states flight and flying with Ber to NY on oct 31st..Halloween... hope it's gonna be happening. Can't wait!!! Can't wait to go to work, after coming back will be attending Evelyn's wedding...can't wait too. Saw a dress at mango jus now, so nice, so sweet...so expensive. Got to think about it. Hm... I'm feeling sick, Kao..going to NY already, and feeling sick now, cannot...cannot must drink liang teh...to recuperate.

God pls help me on this.

I'm feeling so lost right now. Got to think about my future. What will my future look like? I leave it all to God, and yet there are people who ask me what I want?!! I really have no idea what I want. Am I considered a loser then? Not knowing what I want. My works are already been decided, I just follow. That's just me. Even Bid decided for me to get the job which I'm doing now. And it's coming to and end, and I've no idea what I want till now. Patrick did ask me a few months back, I thought of getting a degree...but that concerns money. I have my old parents to feed, so I have no idea what I will be earning when my contract ends next year! God am I thinking too much? I just wanna lead a carefree life. No worries, 'cos GOD has already paved the way. I don't wanna think about money, about love, about not getting married when I hit 30. Gosh...I still have a long way to reach. I just wanna enjoy what I have right now. Anything wrong with that? That I don upgrade myself? My work is just a job which don't requires brain power? Is this true? I ask myself. Does that include the 'chao geng' part? Also, if anything is to happen and we need to evacuate the passengers within seconds? The knowledge that we need to have to save people's life? Is it fair MAN? The way that you are judging me? God I just wanna leave it all to you, and signal me to walk your path. That's all I ever wanted. I do have my dreams, but dreams la, still it concerns money. If I'm not born in this family, and if I have rich parents? I think I will get what I always wanted. I could pursue my dreams? Self help is so limited. I do not have the strength to do it? Or am I just plain lazy to do it. I need to ask myself. GOD I just need your help. Amen!

Fed up

Was already quite fed up with the stupid company and here I am, jus came back from my stupid 4 days pattern. Very Tired and very very fed up(dono what other words that I can use beside fed up.) Sometimes I think why we work so hard for the company who doesn't even give shit to us employees. They jus virtually treat us like bangala. Too bad if U r working for Jap company...U'd never have promotion, only can work for a max of 15 yrs, and also not confirmed that you will get ur contract if u have good profile. Is this jus life? They keep promoting that one should get the grade S for higher chances of getting the contract, but hello??? Only higher chance ok? NOt CONFIRM chance. Crap japanese. That's how much I HATE them. BUt I also muct admit that there are very nice ones, who treated me real good. And I do enjoy my flight last nite, cos my in-charge keep praising my work, which makes me very pai seh.

THere are good and bad in general. BUt even I do know, but how come I cannot get over it? I felt so mad when I checked that my flight was dropped and they slot in a stupid 4 days pattern for me again. Thinking that I have to eat grass next month, really irks me. What's their problem? Huh? What is going on? Fair? Do u think this is fair? Or there's nothing fair in this world? PAstor Prince once mentioned, "do not take small things to heart. Let there be no trouble in ur heart." BUt hey..thinking I will eat grass next month, no joke ok? And my credit card bill jus came, jus 1 card for the time being, approximatly $600 plus? Kao...see la, how am I gonna survive? Jus only 1 for the time being, the 2nd one not here yet.

Hey, don think that we flight attendents earn alot ok?! Our pay depends alot on our flying allowances. (Most ppl think we do and also a new fren whom I've jus met.) If every month I'm given this kind of crap flight.... I've tot before, I will wan to burn the office down. Trap them all in the lift, hit the head of the fat one with a heavy ash tray. Hit until he pass out...Hahaha.... These are jus some tots I have, during last time when there are so much unfairness. And ppl jus say say only, keep complaining and no work is done. I do not respect U! Yes! Maybe U do have families to support, and u jus wanna give ideas but not take the responsibility to speak up. Who the hell, nowadays have the courage to speak up for someone? Even if U do, the one whom U r speaking up for might take U for granted and won't even appreciate it at all. Why go all the trouble? Y? Wei shen mo?

So final words in conclusion, what the company gives U, go...go and make full use of it. Dental...go and and use it, don't wait and wait till it's ur final year in this company den U using their so call "privillages". Company docs... ya...go..take all the medicine U need, for ur parents, for ur frens and all the shower gel, cream...etc...ya?! Free tickets...not so free la, must pay a small sum...y not? Go...go apply for urself and ur parents, don't let tge company take advantage of us anymore. U work for bloody 5 years, what do u get? Well..they is the gradtuti(aiyah..dono how to spell la) Looks big, but if u divided into 5 years, pertatic. And what else? Ya...U didn't take sick leave for 3 years...U get a crap paper. Saying..thank u so much for ur utmost effort in your work...blah..blah..blah.... and so on..... Crap la!!!! If U can... don keep taking away our flights la! Stupid company!!!!!!!!!!

CirQue Du Soleil-QuiDAM

Wah...jus got back from flt..saigon 2 nites, went shopping with Irene and bought 2 bags that I lovvvved so much. And many other things as well. Today went church, 2nd svc with Stella,but before that met Ber BEr and hajimete met auntie Doreen, (Ber's mummy) for breakfast...Todays preaching very interesting topic, on life and dreams...hehe...to know more, pls buy the CD urself. Guest preacher Pastor Gary from hillsong.
My main point for this blog today is I Went to watch the QuiDam...wah...damn good man.... worth the price I paying for $98. Spetacular, breathe taking... VERY GOOOOOOOOD AH!! Although sitting not centre but side, but already 3 rows from the stage. CAnnot complain la, sing kar po hoh, vely small de ma. HAha...If in the 1st place, I know the stage so small can buy the back rows centre seats liao lor! I highly recommand. I bought the sound track too. although abit ex la huh, $35. But buy and keep souvenior lor. Feel like watching it again...dono who will bless le? Hehe...

Ur fav transport?

I was jus wondering, which public transport do U like? For me... I like riding on the bus. Not only can see scenery somemore cheap and sure got seats to sit. But not for long journey la, will feel nausea. The transport I hate most is the MRT. When I was in primary skool, still can remember what Mr LOW ask...what does MRT stands for during our session before singing the national athem. And my smart aleck indian classmate raised his hand, (I think he is SIVA LINGAM, had a twin bro.) He walked upfront and very confidently answered..."MR RICHARD TAN". Those were that days....

Y i hated the MRT? Cos during poly times, the only transport from my hse to my poly is the MRT. All the way to yio chu kang... LOng and far ride. And can see la, from my hse must change at raffles place, and u knoe la, morning with all those kiasu aunties and uncles and office workers rushing to work. Normally u can really see the scene whereby ur face is pasted onto the doors. HAha...jus imagine for a moment. And there's some ppl who r jus not so considerate in moving in..I mean IN and letting more ppl to get onboard. Also standing by the doors or guarding the doors when their stop are still very far away. And leaving poor ppl...ahem...for example like me, being considerate and walked out so that the ppl behind me could get out, and later realise that there is no more room for me back there, and therefore I'm late for my lecture. Before then, u can never see the 2 YELLOW lines... wat r they for? U may wonder? To teach singaporeans to keep to the side so that passengers can alight first before they move in like marching ants. And also the signs along escalator telling ppl to keep to the left. Posters telling ppl to be considerate and be courteous only during the courteousy month... wat a laugh.! There's more to complain about the MRT and that's how much I hated it...but this acticle will be long.

Was out with Ber last nite... and I really must conclude myself as a lor soh person..alamak....so young and yet becoming auntie so soon. I'm sorry I'm so qiong he(chang qi). That's jus me lor....Ber agrees. Sometimes I jus talk too much la.... Cannot help it...Genes....

OK..ok...I jus remembered, there's 1 time long long time ago at Orchard mrt. The scene of kiasu auntie who try to enter the met when not all PAX have alighted and met her match of this uncle who try to come out. And.....auntie lost...auntie was somehow being pushed and fell to the floor...LOL...I was there I saw it...BElly good ah...haha....auntie OR BI good. HAhaha.... And the victory goes to uncle who was very gentleman enuff to offer to help her up. BUt U see la, auntie lose face already and of cos very angry and rejected lor..All happens in split secs... So is there a lesson learnt? I don't think so... There's still more stories,but I jus state examples to cut short. YES I have lost my temper far too many times when taking the MRT. Had shouted at a woman who can't make up her mind on where to sit, gave lots of stares to ppl who keep pushing while I try to get out. The woman who can't make up her mind is classical. Blame it on my PMS,but isn't it too early for one?