God pls help me on this.

I'm feeling so lost right now. Got to think about my future. What will my future look like? I leave it all to God, and yet there are people who ask me what I want?!! I really have no idea what I want. Am I considered a loser then? Not knowing what I want. My works are already been decided, I just follow. That's just me. Even Bid decided for me to get the job which I'm doing now. And it's coming to and end, and I've no idea what I want till now. Patrick did ask me a few months back, I thought of getting a degree...but that concerns money. I have my old parents to feed, so I have no idea what I will be earning when my contract ends next year! God am I thinking too much? I just wanna lead a carefree life. No worries, 'cos GOD has already paved the way. I don't wanna think about money, about love, about not getting married when I hit 30. Gosh...I still have a long way to reach. I just wanna enjoy what I have right now. Anything wrong with that? That I don upgrade myself? My work is just a job which don't requires brain power? Is this true? I ask myself. Does that include the 'chao geng' part? Also, if anything is to happen and we need to evacuate the passengers within seconds? The knowledge that we need to have to save people's life? Is it fair MAN? The way that you are judging me? God I just wanna leave it all to you, and signal me to walk your path. That's all I ever wanted. I do have my dreams, but dreams la, still it concerns money. If I'm not born in this family, and if I have rich parents? I think I will get what I always wanted. I could pursue my dreams? Self help is so limited. I do not have the strength to do it? Or am I just plain lazy to do it. I need to ask myself. GOD I just need your help. Amen!