It's Christmas Eve... ... ...

Yes... It's Christmas eve, yet I do not feel the spirit of Christmas like a week ago. Why am I so fickle-minded. I was all so excited about Darling tagging along with me to NY and Japan. Yet I cannot be open to suggestions. Because, I thought what's the point of making the effort to think of something when he will make suggestions and seems like he will love to execute his suggestions if I said yes.

I will want to make him feel happy during this trip, and I thought he said he'd happy to just go to the places I go to, yet when I have made the plans he said why don't we go here, here or there there. :(

I've promised my sister that I am going to her place for supper tonight. And he suggested why don't we have our own dinner? I thought it's YOU who said I should go to her house for Christmas lunch since I was so not keen in the first place. So when I have decided okay I will go her house for lunch since seems like they miss me so much. NOW, you ask if I'm going to her place for supper or for lunch. DIdn't I already told you that day and I was grumbling 'cause I know if I didn't get my wanted rest, I will be very very very grumpy???

Yes, I got up today to get things done. But why can't I do it in my own timing???

I'm feeling very very very super duper grumpy now 'cause I did not get my sleep and I don't know if I can sleep back soon. I have to work tomorrow!!! MAybe you didn't realise that, maybe you think that yes, the flight don't have much pax but still.... I DO NOT like to go to work with NOT enough sleep, BECAUSE I know I will have very bad mood. AND I AM EXPERIENCING THAT NOW!!!!!!!!!!

YOU have spoilt my eve and maybe day and maybe the trip!!!

I can't help it~ I am a scrooge, so what?

我觉得我被感动了。。。

今天， 是。。。 我们的第一次。。。从新家出发到机场。

而他也为了我， 很早就起身了。 步行到 657， 帮我拿我忘了带的制服还有小推车， 再驾着他老爸的车回来新家， 接我去机场。 ：）

（我感动了）

到了机场， 我上了公司，时间到， 打给他， 叫他买我爱吃的粥。

下到食阁， 原来他早已经帮我把我爱吃的鸡粥给买好了。 而且， 温度刚刚好。

（我又被感动了）

我跟他说我被他感动了， 他说会不会有一点迟，那他以前所做的不是白做了吗？

要让你知道的是： At least I sincerely appreciate what you are doing for me from now~ :)

It's a new phase in our lives that we learn. That I really learn how to appreciate you.

I learn how to say NO. I learn how to avoid. I learn to be a good wife to you. Hope you can understand. I am trying~ too.....

上帝， 请不要让单身男子出现， 谢谢。

昨天， 我们两在简讯里吵了个小架。。。 其实是我先开始的。 就应为我还在为了蜡烛的事件耿耿于怀。还有对于说誓言的时候， 我决得他不够任真， 他生气了。 ：（

是， 是我不对。 是我爱比较。 但是我要怎么样才不会一至与别人比较呢？ 我也不想啊。 ：（ 就是脑子里会不停的在和别人比较。） 我知道这是不对的。 嗨。。。。

说到这儿。。。昨天我也被一个突如其来的友善男生给吓着了。 难道教会里的人都那么友善吗？ 跟他说了， 他说我大惊小怪！ 说真的， 如果说有一位男生在不远处看到你单独与一位小姐在谈话，他的眼睛好像发光似的，看到你， 就走过来和你搭讪，还有自我介绍， 你会吓到吗？

我当然是被吓到啊。。。 一个那么有魅力的有夫之妇， 一个热血澎湃的年轻男子， 走向你， 伸出手来与你自我介绍， 难道老公们就不怕吗？

难道说要再一次像“八纳捕撕” 的事件发生的时候， 老公们才会怕吗？

说我保守也好， 什么都好， 难道为了保护自己， 而不让老公生气有错吗？

就因为当年处处留（友）情， 而被对方错以为我对他们有意识， 而造成了没有朋友可以做的地步， 让我为自己的行为而感到愧疚。 一开始就不应该给人家机会， 让人家把“大戏”都给唱完了， 才想到要逃脱。。。 是不是太迟了呢？

就因为不想再有类似事件发生，所以我才会感到害怕。 因为我不想老公生我的气吗， 而且一直不让我睡觉！！！ 呵呵呵。。。

圣诞节。。。我的最爱！

哦，十二月。。。我最最最期待的，也最最最爱的一个月份。我好希望每一个月都是圣诞节！
应为她是一个浪漫，而且梦幻的节日。 ：）

为什么我想用华文写我的部落格呢？ 应为啊，我已经被台湾的偶像剧给影响了。到底这个世界上有没有真的童话故事啊？都说是偶像剧了啊，当然是假的啦！

但是，每个人的心里，是不是都向往有一个象是童话故事里的公主一样， 希望他的王子会出现呢？

说到这个，其实在很小的时候，我想啊每个人应该都会有想过，这应该就是叫着白日梦吧。

说到王子。。。 我想啊，我的王子 “他” 应该已经出现了吧。他虽然没有长得像明道这么帅，其实他是有他自己好看的一面啊。这一点可是为了拯救我们的 （真正）王子给领悟到的。 我们亲爱的耶稣打开了我的心，让我看到了耀明的好，甜 与 爱。 这是由自己的双眼所看不到的关爱。

所以我感谢我亲爱的耶稣， 谢谢你！

New life starts from here.

New life starts here....

I'm married. Gotta a re-sale. And preparing for the house and thinking of a Cha Chan teng party thrills me. :)

And thinking that my hubby will be successful in 2 years. And if possible be able to migrate and work overseas.... will be my dreams. :) I'm sure my mummy will be smiling at me from above.

So let's look forward to all these blessings that God has paved for us!

Amen!

I'd doing the new flight 35, from Haneda to SIN. Yes it's a chore. Departure time is almost midnight in Haneda, but yet I have to prepare at about 5 plus pm to get ready to catch a hotel bus to the airport then transfer to a limo bus to Haneda airport. And I think I was so "favored" that I have this flight like for 2 times in Nov. And a flight 36 that replaces 710.

I think I just did my last 710 on the 30th.... Sad~ But I didn't realise it at all when someone reminded me. So... not so sad. :)

A thought:
Since I felt so "favored," I should thank GOD who gave me this chance to be a leader that can conquer this first step. It will be a norm for me to take this task, and it will be easy for me for the next one year that I will be here. My last. I shall just enjoy it so much that I will not have regrets by the time comes.

I should not feel a drag going to work, because I look forward to pay day and my BIG 25 at the end of Sept next year. I will make it! My ultimate 10 years! :) In a Job for 10years. Wow......

I shall look forward to all these goals. And also to stock up goods from US for my new house, it just made me smile. :)

Need to get the thoughts off my mind.

I need to get all this "thoughts" OFF my mind! Keeping all the hurts and tears here and save the happy, sweet ones will do. :)

The Greatest hurt of All. B.Lim gotta be out! Followed by jerky D.Kuah. Whose next?
All these people who were once in my life. M.Chew, G.Chong, I.To.
And those who tried but freaked me out. H.Liong, S.M, that guy who brought me the cross pendant.

Hm.... Outta a 4years span of single hood, meeting all these people is quite an eye opener. :)
I DO NOT treasure the sad memories, but I thank them for letting me experience the exposure I had back then. :)

No more meeting who that look and behaves like who shall stumble me anymore. I made my choice! To forget all all of them, if I cannot, like I said, I will keep their sweet memories with me. Like having been drove around in a BM. :) Tried sitting in a BM sport a couple of times. It's enough. :)

Being brought to all these which I felt was fancy places for food, even if it's not as fancy, but I did enjoy it. :)

I wish all of YOU above find your true love! Because I have found mine. :)

Is it worth it?

The Question: Is it Worth it?

So... is it worth staying on..... but feeling such a drag?

Is it worth staying on.... for that $11k, but felt strapped?

Is it worth staying on..... but complaining non stop about how shitty this job is?

IS it worth staying on..... and getting paid peanuts?

Lord.... you must help me fast la.
I don't know I will break down. When I will just decide not go to flight and ultimately put a FULL STOP to all this shit!

But I really do wanna fry a packet of cuttle fish and give it to my boss. Fry hot hot for him. :)

Am sick of all these shit!

Aiya... how? Very sian of my job. Very sian of things. And still very sian with my job.

Ta ma de, kana call up again to duty and not being able to have breakfast with Darling for the 2nd time.

Talked to this bitch who ya ya papaya said that her unpaid leave for Nov was approved. Shit... why wasn't mine in Oct with a valid reason for wedding not approve? Damn idiot boss who show favoritism! She suck your cock ah? Stupid idiot Japanese man!

God... when is my prayer coming to? When is my company closing down, but must compensate us okay? God... when when when when? When is he going to be sent back? When is there day light? When?????

Felt such a drag to drag myself to work. What is $11K? It's a lot of money, but it's also robbing my joy in work. There's no more joy in work. No more....!!!

Why is there no sound to channel 7 in Japan TV? Why Why why? Why other channel okay? Why only channel 7 which at least is showing some shows worth watching want to be mute?

Hiyah.... I can only watch Larry King, And he is making me sleepy...

I want to say I love my job.... but I see no such joy anymore. :(

Idiots in my life.

Wedding date is nearing, counting .... 1month and 6 days more. My nose is bleeding. Was asked a unreasonable request on our world class transport just now, after my shiok shiok back and foot massage.

I would! I say I would give up my seat on any occasion, if I do see any elderly or mothers carrying babies and all that shit. But today, though I am seated next to the partition on the new train which only have 5-6 seats in a row, doesn't means my seat is a Reserved Seat right? Cos I don't see the sticky! There's no exact indication. Unless you tell me there's a new rule stating all seats next to the partition, be it have or don't have the Reserved seat sticky are Reserved seat. Then I LL. Fact is... there isn't.

I am not angry with the uncle who asked me nicely that can I give up my seat for THAT woman who is carrying a sleeping child. I am angry with the fact that she did not even said thank you when I did give up my seat. And the ignorant idiot Sim Cik who like to talk no sense!

How would I not have reasoned? Because the uncle is nice and he said "thank you" to me instead. I should have reasoned, but it won't have been nice when the uncle pity THAT woman more. I would actually just say it in her face.

"This seat that you are sitting is NOT a priority seat and definitely not the Reserved seat because it does not bear the sticky. I gave up my seat not because I am willing, and if your child is sleeping, don't be so cheapo, and get a cab instead!"

And for THOSE idiots who have not RSVP for my wedding, I wished you ALL WILL nOt come! Anyway I don't have enough seats for you idiots as well! If you insist on coming, you can sit on the floor and please Da Bao your own food, and I Don't need your pathetic Ang Pow!!!!!

For THOSE who actually aren't willing to come but yet scare pai seh, Get A Life!!!!

I felt I'm burnout!

For 9 years, finally I felt that I HATE my job! Why? Because the pain in my back, lying in bed all day on a weekend, and have no mood to do any other things, has left me thinking, is it time to GO?

All these months of excessive flying is draining me of my strength, made Ginger moody, left so little time spent with Eugene. When is this going to end? I still have exactly 1 more year to go from Oct.

Why do I love flying? It's not that I have a passion for it or something but the shopping in NY, the cheap buys I can get. And I just dropped my last Amsterdam flight because I can barely get out of bed with the throbbing back pain, especially the lower back.

I lie on the floor, kicked my legs and cried like a little kid. Not that I am in such pain( I have quite a high pain tolerance.) I am whining, because I just DO NOT want to get called up again in a single standby, (was called up for 3 times in a row in a month). I DO NOT want to go to work! Doing the same thing again and again, that hurts my back, hurts my lower back, left me in bed in PAIN (keyword). I simply just want OUT!

Maybe at this moment, GOD is looking down and thinking what a child I am? Eugene says he feels hurt seeing me acting like that. I am like super duper burn burn burn out! I wanted to shout on the streets, I hate the Japanese! I hate the passengers! Maybe I want to be like another Steven Slater: whom first PA-ed that he had enough of the rude passengers and opened the emergency exit, slide out with his baggage and not forgetting a can of beer. If I am pushed to THAT extreme end, maybe I might behave like that. Am looking forward to this day?

The freak out periods... The "waiting to die" periods... made me thinking, is it really time to say Sayonara? $25k is the factor that keeps me here still. What is $11k and how do I endure that last freaking 13months?

Is money all important? I truly will MISS the shopping in states. But all this will ends next year. And it's time to plan....

All these aside...

Anyway... my greatest fear of going to work has turned to "I can see the sunshine" after I was given another 4 days of MC. And sleeping in till after noooonnn, sleeping at home when it normally rains around the timing when Eugene is going to work, I am contented.

You should see the look on my face when I got the 4 days MC, and as I walked out of the clinic, I really see sunshine. There's this happy feeling that I can't explain. It's just a calm, happy, delightful feeling, or rather a relief that I will not have to "wait to die" for the next 4 days? I am one HAPPY goon!!!

I can sing! I am back! I am @#$%-ing HAPPY! Just like that! Have never "geng" MC. I did it! 4 days are no joke. I thank God, I thank the Dr Goh, who believed me and that I am almost on the breek of breaking down if I am not exempted from work for the next 4days till my flight on the 25th (which will be Pay day).

I tell myself, I want to make full use of all these days. :)

Body Protesting~

My body decided to call it quits after clocking more than 90 over hours of flight time. It's TIME to take a BREAK. I really do not wanna fall sick during my BIG day. :)

I do feel like doing some things, like sending out my invites and continue making my corsages, but yet I do not find the strength to do so.

I was also wondering whose the lucky bastard that took over my AMS flight...... hm... heard from Pau Pau, it's taken over by Japanese crew. Oh well~

Is it really worth it? Working so hard for this company who do not really actually appreciate their staffs. We are made to slog like a horse?? And finally we all fell sick. And what has the Japan side office got to say, when our sick percentage went up?

To think of it, I heard this rumor that our pay will be cut by 20-30% by end of Sept. The Japs are already briefed of something like that. And we are still kept in the dark.... till Sept comes, then they will announce?

Somehow after my body broke down, I thought to myself.... maybe I worked too hard, just like what Kimura san said. :)

I asked to take unpaid leave in Oct, and most likely it's not gonna be approve and I need to use my precious leave to cover. Nowadays, the scheduler do not save your leave for you anymore. You take leave, flight disrupted... that's it! You eat grass.

Is it worth it? Earning that much in return for a sick body?

It feels good when I get to save quite an amount in 1 month. Working for 9years.... What will be my future?

Lord, I hope that the next job that I got in, I will be able to work for so long and no hopping around. 'Cause I hate job hopping and kept going for interviews.

A new place, A new beginning... ...

A new place:

I think I have being staying in Yishun for about coming to a year. After Mummy passed and a week later I was asked to get out of the house.

A new life only began when I officially moved out of that sad place. :)

Initially, I was not used to staying here, for my sisters kept telling me things---things I ought to do myself and not be a bother to other people, and tales from friends that mother-in-laws are monsters. But Praise the Lord, like what HE says, HE will restore whatever I've lost. And HE is doing that.

Not only that my mother-in-law is not a monster, she turned out to be a rather caring lady. But in terms of size wise, of course she does not resemble my mummy at all. But all in all she is a lovely lady, that I don't mind lugging back fruits from Japan just for her because she loves fruits from Japan.

I guess anyone will be willing to do something for someone who has shown gratitude towards that someone. :)

I AM much happier here in Yishun, a new place, a new life~

A year has passed.... .... ...

A year has passed. And my mum have gone to be with the Lord. No more frustrating debates about spending quality or quantity time with her anymore. No more feelings of anger, irritating-ness. I'm just at peace now. This is a year of restful increase. Indeed it has been. :)

I'm getting married, or rather I was already married in the eyes of the law, on 25th Feb 2010. Preparations for the BIG party is on 22nd Oct 2010. And GOD has been pouring us with blessings since the day we got together. :)

All praises to the Lord!! Who has bless us with:

1. A 4-room flat which we found in 2 days. No need BIG reno.
2. COV of $38,000 paid. We don't have to fork out a single cent.
3. Furniture all blessed. Eugene's aunt is blessing us with a sofa, coffee table, an antique 18 drawer chinese cupboard.
4. And for now, God is blessing us with a personal ID. :)
   

We are thrilled that God is taking charge! Despite a little hiccups in some situation, but God made it easy for us to pass through without us fretting over it.

Thank you Jesus!!! Many thanks....

And we still miss you dearly mummy~