Qoo me???

Hurt myself again?

2011-02-25T15:37:00.002+08:00

I do not know how, I do not know when, my left wrist is hurting again. And I'm feeling aches and pain all over. I will still feel very lethargic and tired after a good night of sleep. Maybe I need a sound sleep and not be disturbed at any point of time?

Is my body lacking something?

Why am I feeling this way? Is it the bed? Or was it me?

:)

Random thoughts, random blog, just anyhow type la!

2011-02-25T15:25:00.004+08:00

When was the last time I blogged? Who cares?

Quarreled with Zee man recently, I wonder, how can I, a girl made someone cried so badly like a girl? What was my heart made of? Stone? Have no idea, and still as stubborn as a what? Whatever.

I hate my father because I do not want to be like him, yet I am behaving like him, so Zee man suggested we be friends. Quite a nice idea, will think about it.

Dreamt of my mum quite a number of times. I guess I miss her....

I don't want to be a crunchy juicy apple! I want to be a rotten apple! What's so bad about a rotten apple?

Asked about my dreams by a Japanese old couple..... I have none for now. Asked about my goals by YK some weeks ago... I have none either. So what does that makes me?

Am angry with my job, work... and feel the strain going to work!

Kana write report for burst out of stupid unused hot cup!

Felt like blogging and now I am rattling on about random stuff!

Will definitely want my Macao holiday and my Chanel bag! They are are MINE!!!!

Since Zee man says whatever I bought him are crap~ I shall stop (I try) buying stuff for people, and save up those $$$ to get my bags instead! I love bags!!! Bite me!~

I think I felt slightly better now. :) I hope this last!

It's Christmas Eve... ... ...

2010-12-24T11:58:00.002+08:00

Yes... It's Christmas eve, yet I do not feel the spirit of Christmas like a week ago. Why am I so fickle-minded. I was all so excited about Darling tagging along with me to NY and Japan. Yet I cannot be open to suggestions. Because, I thought what's the point of making the effort to think of something when he will make suggestions and seems like he will love to execute his suggestions if I said yes.

I will want to make him feel happy during this trip, and I thought he said he'd happy to just go to the places I go to, yet when I have made the plans he said why don't we go here, here or there there. :(

I've promised my sister that I am going to her place for supper tonight. And he suggested why don't we have our own dinner? I thought it's YOU who said I should go to her house for Christmas lunch since I was so not keen in the first place. So when I have decided okay I will go her house for lunch since seems like they miss me so much. NOW, you ask if I'm going to her place for supper or for lunch. DIdn't I already told you that day and I was grumbling 'cause I know if I didn't get my wanted rest, I will be very very very grumpy???

Yes, I got up today to get things done. But why can't I do it in my own timing???

I'm feeling very very very super duper grumpy now 'cause I did not get my sleep and I don't know if I can sleep back soon. I have to work tomorrow!!! MAybe you didn't realise that, maybe you think that yes, the flight don't have much pax but still.... I DO NOT like to go to work with NOT enough sleep, BECAUSE I know I will have very bad mood. AND I AM EXPERIENCING THAT NOW!!!!!!!!!!

YOU have spoilt my eve and maybe day and maybe the trip!!!

I can't help it~ I am a scrooge, so what?

我觉得我被感动了。。。

2010-12-05T18:08:00.002+08:00

今天，是。。。我们的第一次。。。从新家出发到机场。

而他也为了我，很早就起身了。步行到 657，帮我拿我忘了带的制服还有小推车，再驾着他老爸的车回来新家，接我去机场。：）

（我感动了）

到了机场，我上了公司，时间到，打给他，叫他买我爱吃的粥。

下到食阁，原来他早已经帮我把我爱吃的鸡粥给买好了。而且，温度刚刚好。

（我又被感动了）

我跟他说我被他感动了，他说会不会有一点迟，那他以前所做的不是白做了吗？

要让你知道的是： At least I sincerely appreciate what you are doing for me from now~ :)

It's a new phase in our lives that we learn. That I really learn how to appreciate you.

I learn how to say NO. I learn how to avoid. I learn to be a good wife to you. Hope you can understand. I am trying~ too.....

上帝，请不要让单身男子出现，谢谢。

2010-12-05T17:07:00.004+08:00

昨天，我们两在简讯里吵了个小架。。。其实是我先开始的。就应为我还在为了蜡烛的事件耿耿于怀。还有对于说誓言的时候，我决得他不够任真，他生气了。：（

是，是我不对。是我爱比较。但是我要怎么样才不会一至与别人比较呢？我也不想啊。：（就是脑子里会不停的在和别人比较。）我知道这是不对的。嗨。。。。

说到这儿。。。昨天我也被一个突如其来的友善男生给吓着了。难道教会里的人都那么友善吗？跟他说了，他说我大惊小怪！说真的，如果说有一位男生在不远处看到你单独与一位小姐在谈话，他的眼睛好像发光似的，看到你，就走过来和你搭讪，还有自我介绍，你会吓到吗？

我当然是被吓到啊。。。一个那么有魅力的有夫之妇，一个热血澎湃的年轻男子，走向你，伸出手来与你自我介绍，难道老公们就不怕吗？

难道说要再一次像“八纳捕撕” 的事件发生的时候，老公们才会怕吗？

说我保守也好，什么都好，难道为了保护自己，而不让老公生气有错吗？

就因为当年处处留（友）情，而被对方错以为我对他们有意识，而造成了没有朋友可以做的地步，让我为自己的行为而感到愧疚。一开始就不应该给人家机会，让人家把“大戏”都给唱完了，才想到要逃脱。。。是不是太迟了呢？

就因为不想再有类似事件发生，所以我才会感到害怕。因为我不想老公生我的气吗，而且一直不让我睡觉！！！呵呵呵。。。

圣诞节。。。我的最爱！

2010-12-03T20:03:00.007+08:00

哦，十二月。。。我最最最期待的，也最最最爱的一个月份。我好希望每一个月都是圣诞节！
应为她是一个浪漫，而且梦幻的节日。：）

为什么我想用华文写我的部落格呢？应为啊，我已经被台湾的偶像剧给影响了。到底这个世界上有没有真的童话故事啊？都说是偶像剧了啊，当然是假的啦！

但是，每个人的心里，是不是都向往有一个象是童话故事里的公主一样，希望他的王子会出现呢？

说到这个，其实在很小的时候，我想啊每个人应该都会有想过，这应该就是叫着白日梦吧。

说到王子。。。我想啊，我的王子 “他” 应该已经出现了吧。他虽然没有长得像明道这么帅，其实他是有他自己好看的一面啊。这一点可是为了拯救我们的（真正）王子给领悟到的。我们亲爱的耶稣打开了我的心，让我看到了耀明的好，甜与爱。这是由自己的双眼所看不到的关爱。

所以我感谢我亲爱的耶稣，谢谢你！

New life starts from here.

2010-11-03T08:35:00.002+08:00

New life starts here....

I'm married. Gotta a re-sale. And preparing for the house and thinking of a Cha Chan teng party thrills me. :)

And thinking that my hubby will be successful in 2 years. And if possible be able to migrate and work overseas.... will be my dreams. :) I'm sure my mummy will be smiling at me from above.

So let's look forward to all these blessings that God has paved for us!

Amen!

I'd doing the new flight 35, from Haneda to SIN. Yes it's a chore. Departure time is almost midnight in Haneda, but yet I have to prepare at about 5 plus pm to get ready to catch a hotel bus to the airport then transfer to a limo bus to Haneda airport. And I think I was so "favored" that I have this flight like for 2 times in Nov. And a flight 36 that replaces 710.

I think I just did my last 710 on the 30th.... Sad~ But I didn't realise it at all when someone reminded me. So... not so sad. :)

A thought:
Since I felt so "favored," I should thank GOD who gave me this chance to be a leader that can conquer this first step. It will be a norm for me to take this task, and it will be easy for me for the next one year that I will be here. My last. I shall just enjoy it so much that I will not have regrets by the time comes.

I should not feel a drag going to work, because I look forward to pay day and my BIG 25 at the end of Sept next year. I will make it! My ultimate 10 years! :) In a Job for 10years. Wow......

I shall look forward to all these goals. And also to stock up goods from US for my new house, it just made me smile. :)

Need to get the thoughts off my mind.

2010-11-03T08:21:00.002+08:00

I need to get all this "thoughts" OFF my mind! Keeping all the hurts and tears here and save the happy, sweet ones will do. :)

The Greatest hurt of All. B.Lim gotta be out! Followed by jerky D.Kuah. Whose next?
All these people who were once in my life. M.Chew, G.Chong, I.To.
And those who tried but freaked me out. H.Liong, S.M, that guy who brought me the cross pendant.

Hm.... Outta a 4years span of single hood, meeting all these people is quite an eye opener. :)
I DO NOT treasure the sad memories, but I thank them for letting me experience the exposure I had back then. :)

No more meeting who that look and behaves like who shall stumble me anymore. I made my choice! To forget all all of them, if I cannot, like I said, I will keep their sweet memories with me. Like having been drove around in a BM. :) Tried sitting in a BM sport a couple of times. It's enough. :)

Being brought to all these which I felt was fancy places for food, even if it's not as fancy, but I did enjoy it. :)

I wish all of YOU above find your true love! Because I have found mine. :)

Is it worth it?

2010-10-30T09:15:00.001+08:00

The Question: Is it Worth it?

So... is it worth staying on..... but feeling such a drag?

Is it worth staying on.... for that $11k, but felt strapped?

Is it worth staying on..... but complaining non stop about how shitty this job is?

IS it worth staying on..... and getting paid peanuts?

Lord.... you must help me fast la.
I don't know I will break down. When I will just decide not go to flight and ultimately put a FULL STOP to all this shit!

But I really do wanna fry a packet of cuttle fish and give it to my boss. Fry hot hot for him. :)

Am sick of all these shit!

2010-10-30T09:04:00.002+08:00

Aiya... how? Very sian of my job. Very sian of things. And still very sian with my job.

Ta ma de, kana call up again to duty and not being able to have breakfast with Darling for the 2nd time.

Talked to this bitch who ya ya papaya said that her unpaid leave for Nov was approved. Shit... why wasn't mine in Oct with a valid reason for wedding not approve? Damn idiot boss who show favoritism! She suck your cock ah? Stupid idiot Japanese man!

God... when is my prayer coming to? When is my company closing down, but must compensate us okay? God... when when when when? When is he going to be sent back? When is there day light? When?????

Felt such a drag to drag myself to work. What is $11K? It's a lot of money, but it's also robbing my joy in work. There's no more joy in work. No more....!!!

Why is there no sound to channel 7 in Japan TV? Why Why why? Why other channel okay? Why only channel 7 which at least is showing some shows worth watching want to be mute?

Hiyah.... I can only watch Larry King, And he is making me sleepy...

I want to say I love my job.... but I see no such joy anymore. :(

Idiots in my life.

2010-09-16T16:12:00.002+08:00

Wedding date is nearing, counting .... 1month and 6 days more. My nose is bleeding. Was asked a unreasonable request on our world class transport just now, after my shiok shiok back and foot massage.

I would! I say I would give up my seat on any occasion, if I do see any elderly or mothers carrying babies and all that shit. But today, though I am seated next to the partition on the new train which only have 5-6 seats in a row, doesn't means my seat is a Reserved Seat right? Cos I don't see the sticky! There's no exact indication. Unless you tell me there's a new rule stating all seats next to the partition, be it have or don't have the Reserved seat sticky are Reserved seat. Then I LL. Fact is... there isn't.

I am not angry with the uncle who asked me nicely that can I give up my seat for THAT woman who is carrying a sleeping child. I am angry with the fact that she did not even said thank you when I did give up my seat. And the ignorant idiot Sim Cik who like to talk no sense!

How would I not have reasoned? Because the uncle is nice and he said "thank you" to me instead. I should have reasoned, but it won't have been nice when the uncle pity THAT woman more. I would actually just say it in her face.

"This seat that you are sitting is NOT a priority seat and definitely not the Reserved seat because it does not bear the sticky. I gave up my seat not because I am willing, and if your child is sleeping, don't be so cheapo, and get a cab instead!"

And for THOSE idiots who have not RSVP for my wedding, I wished you ALL WILL nOt come! Anyway I don't have enough seats for you idiots as well! If you insist on coming, you can sit on the floor and please Da Bao your own food, and I Don't need your pathetic Ang Pow!!!!!

For THOSE who actually aren't willing to come but yet scare pai seh, Get A Life!!!!

2010-08-28T07:11:00.002+08:00

I felt I'm burnout!

2010-08-20T19:31:00.002+08:00

For 9 years, finally I felt that I HATE my job! Why? Because the pain in my back, lying in bed all day on a weekend, and have no mood to do any other things, has left me thinking, is it time to GO?

All these months of excessive flying is draining me of my strength, made Ginger moody, left so little time spent with Eugene. When is this going to end? I still have exactly 1 more year to go from Oct.

Why do I love flying? It's not that I have a passion for it or something but the shopping in NY, the cheap buys I can get. And I just dropped my last Amsterdam flight because I can barely get out of bed with the throbbing back pain, especially the lower back.

I lie on the floor, kicked my legs and cried like a little kid. Not that I am in such pain( I have quite a high pain tolerance.) I am whining, because I just DO NOT want to get called up again in a single standby, (was called up for 3 times in a row in a month). I DO NOT want to go to work! Doing the same thing again and again, that hurts my back, hurts my lower back, left me in bed in PAIN (keyword). I simply just want OUT!

Maybe at this moment, GOD is looking down and thinking what a child I am? Eugene says he feels hurt seeing me acting like that. I am like super duper burn burn burn out! I wanted to shout on the streets, I hate the Japanese! I hate the passengers! Maybe I want to be like another Steven Slater: whom first PA-ed that he had enough of the rude passengers and opened the emergency exit, slide out with his baggage and not forgetting a can of beer. If I am pushed to THAT extreme end, maybe I might behave like that. Am looking forward to this day?

The freak out periods... The "waiting to die" periods... made me thinking, is it really time to say Sayonara? $25k is the factor that keeps me here still. What is $11k and how do I endure that last freaking 13months?

Is money all important? I truly will MISS the shopping in states. But all this will ends next year. And it's time to plan....

All these aside...

Anyway... my greatest fear of going to work has turned to "I can see the sunshine" after I was given another 4 days of MC. And sleeping in till after noooonnn, sleeping at home when it normally rains around the timing when Eugene is going to work, I am contented.

You should see the look on my face when I got the 4 days MC, and as I walked out of the clinic, I really see sunshine. There's this happy feeling that I can't explain. It's just a calm, happy, delightful feeling, or rather a relief that I will not have to "wait to die" for the next 4 days? I am one HAPPY goon!!!

I can sing! I am back! I am @#$%-ing HAPPY! Just like that! Have never "geng" MC. I did it! 4 days are no joke. I thank God, I thank the Dr Goh, who believed me and that I am almost on the breek of breaking down if I am not exempted from work for the next 4days till my flight on the 25th (which will be Pay day).

I tell myself, I want to make full use of all these days. :)

Body Protesting~

2010-08-17T19:01:00.001+08:00

My body decided to call it quits after clocking more than 90 over hours of flight time. It's TIME to take a BREAK. I really do not wanna fall sick during my BIG day. :)

I do feel like doing some things, like sending out my invites and continue making my corsages, but yet I do not find the strength to do so.

I was also wondering whose the lucky bastard that took over my AMS flight...... hm... heard from Pau Pau, it's taken over by Japanese crew. Oh well~

Is it really worth it? Working so hard for this company who do not really actually appreciate their staffs. We are made to slog like a horse?? And finally we all fell sick. And what has the Japan side office got to say, when our sick percentage went up?

To think of it, I heard this rumor that our pay will be cut by 20-30% by end of Sept. The Japs are already briefed of something like that. And we are still kept in the dark.... till Sept comes, then they will announce?

Somehow after my body broke down, I thought to myself.... maybe I worked too hard, just like what Kimura san said. :)

I asked to take unpaid leave in Oct, and most likely it's not gonna be approve and I need to use my precious leave to cover. Nowadays, the scheduler do not save your leave for you anymore. You take leave, flight disrupted... that's it! You eat grass.

Is it worth it? Earning that much in return for a sick body?

It feels good when I get to save quite an amount in 1 month. Working for 9years.... What will be my future?

Lord, I hope that the next job that I got in, I will be able to work for so long and no hopping around. 'Cause I hate job hopping and kept going for interviews.

A new place, A new beginning... ...

2010-08-05T20:18:00.003+08:00

A new place:

I think I have being staying in Yishun for about coming to a year. After Mummy passed and a week later I was asked to get out of the house.

A new life only began when I officially moved out of that sad place. :)

Initially, I was not used to staying here, for my sisters kept telling me things---things I ought to do myself and not be a bother to other people, and tales from friends that mother-in-laws are monsters. But Praise the Lord, like what HE says, HE will restore whatever I've lost. And HE is doing that.

Not only that my mother-in-law is not a monster, she turned out to be a rather caring lady. But in terms of size wise, of course she does not resemble my mummy at all. But all in all she is a lovely lady, that I don't mind lugging back fruits from Japan just for her because she loves fruits from Japan.

I guess anyone will be willing to do something for someone who has shown gratitude towards that someone. :)

I AM much happier here in Yishun, a new place, a new life~

A year has passed.... .... ...

2010-08-04T16:01:00.003+08:00

A year has passed. And my mum have gone to be with the Lord. No more frustrating debates about spending quality or quantity time with her anymore. No more feelings of anger, irritating-ness. I'm just at peace now. This is a year of restful increase. Indeed it has been. :)

I'm getting married, or rather I was already married in the eyes of the law, on 25th Feb 2010. Preparations for the BIG party is on 22nd Oct 2010. And GOD has been pouring us with blessings since the day we got together. :)

All praises to the Lord!! Who has bless us with:

A 4-room flat which we found in 2 days. No need BIG reno.
COV of $38,000 paid. We don't have to fork out a single cent.
Furniture all blessed. Eugene's aunt is blessing us with a sofa, coffee table, an antique 18 drawer chinese cupboard.
And for now, God is blessing us with a personal ID. :)

We are thrilled that God is taking charge! Despite a little hiccups in some situation, but God made it easy for us to pass through without us fretting over it.

Thank you Jesus!!! Many thanks....

And we still miss you dearly mummy~

I'm home!!!

2009-05-19T11:17:00.004+08:00

It's good to be home!

Finally moved back home on 17th May. And I have 12 bags plus little ones...haha...and mum only had a body shop paper bag of clothing and that's it. :)

Eugene gave me a lift back home 1st with all my "bags" and I treated him Mac Donald lunch for his labor.

Mum was welcomed by her friends the next day morning~

18th May...

Cleaned and wiped the fridge and sourcing for expired stuff. I didn't know my fridge is so dirty and it's so tiring doing housework... but what the heck.. I hope I slim down though. (That's what is most important.)

19th May ...

I'm cooking tonight!!! Have decided to cook prawns and chicken with ginger. Not my dog ginger, but the edible ginger? Haha... Hm.... I didn't know that marketing was a joy. Or was cooking a joy? I think all of them are!! Hehe..

Am cooking pork ribs porridge for mummy now. It's fun to cook and especially if people find them nice. Oh ya.. I was graded 8/10 for a dinner I cooked for my 2nd sister and her family when we are staying at her house some one month ago. Not so bad for a first attempt. :)

Hm.... I think I have become a grace housewife. But I don't really mind. As the Lord and the holy spirit has been my teacher and it has been a joy buying, preparing and cooking. There's just the washing part to tackle though~

Hm.. shall tackle the stove tomorrow. Shall clean it before I start flying again. These are not 101% hard work as yet, maybe because I'm just doing it in a short term for now. I have already declared... The Lord is my strength and I am my mum's. :) And so it shall be~

I do miss my massage session and my facial. I think Gene is feeling that I didn't take time off for him. Whatever lar... I have my mum to take care of and who knows how long more she has. For Gene, I can still spend lotsa time with him in the long run if he's gonna.......... I think he can come over for dinner instead of me going over to yishun, which is so far for me. Well..It is also far for him, shall have to plan for this part.

Oh well... this stone I shall cast it to the lord. No worries.. that's his promise!

Will be cooking for the family tonight and am looking forward to it. And will be bringing a portion to Jeanette and I just saw her this morning when I'm doing marketing (I think I mix into the market culture.) She mentioned that 'Prawns' are Edwin's favourite. So who knows he's praying for it for how long? Haha...

So Abba Jesus, help me cook a nice prawn dish tonight okay? It's for Jeanette and family and also mine~ Thank you Jesus!!!

Root Canal

2009-05-14T17:06:00.002+08:00

My tooth died after I had a cycling accident at Pulau Ubin some 2months plus ago. Today I had my root canal done. Though it's painless but I think the hole that's getting in my pocket pains me more.

This doctor gave me a package price of $1050 which I think includes- consultation, X-ray, root canal surgery for 2 teeth, and painkillers. Not so bad I think... quite reasonable price for a private specialist. $1050---price of my neverfull LV bag. Hm...

I just hope the 2 teeth that's next to this 2 dead teeth will be fine. If not... more root canals.... Sian~

Dear Lord, I just hope that you'd provide the cash for me for all my bills~

Thank you Lord..

Hoping to go work soon~

2009-05-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

Was back from dinner at Eugene's place. His mom's chicken wings are nice. Yum... Taste like how mum used to cook.

Went home at 11pm because got curfew lor... at age 28... still?

Came home and asked mum if she wanna take some of my cough syrup, because I think it'd helped her sleep better.

Right now, my motto in life is... do what I feel is good and not what is acceptable to other people, because it's so hard to please people, if I please them, I know they'd expect more and I will feel sad again because it's not what I wanna do in the first place.

But then again, the bible says something like we should love our neighbour even though if we don't feel like it...something on that line. Because it's easy to do something which we are willing and to do something which we are not willing is difficult. Hm... still tackling that.

Read about Shin Na's story in the papers today. And explained it in mandrain to mummy. To tell her she's not the only cancer patient in Singapore. And also explained to her that there's this 45 years old lady who is diagnosed with last stage breast cancer and she is living her life to the fullest by doing the things she loved, like dancing. When I shared that with mum, she said, at least she still got strength to dance but me? I don't even have the strength to walk around. I think she missed the early morning walk in Portsdown with the aunties. The plucking of wild flowers and the wild edible fruits. Somehow I missed that too...

Moving here to Bishan....
Eugene was happy that I moved here away from the unhappy place. But somehow in me, I do not feel the ultimate peace in my heart that this is the "freedom" place. Thinking about it, I think I have more freedom back in the old home besides the constants nagging as compared to here.

Life has changed ever since mum is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Everyone's life has changed, not just for me...said Eugene. To focus on other people first then.. me. Is kinda hard. Because... I will start wondering..what about me? If people wants me to think of their feelings, then can someone think of mine too? I know it's just not all about me me me... But will you be happy if someone keep saying that you are dumb? Is that a better word than stoopid? Why won't my nieces show respect to me? Because my sisters didn't teach them about respect? Becasue they themselves talk in that manner, so of cos the daughters will learn from their mothers.

Lord.. I want to learn from you and not from my earthly parents or sisters. Because what they are teaching is laws and more laws. The untruths. I want to follow your truths and you said you will give me rest and quality sleep. So give me that so I will not wake up in the middle of the night to check if there are cockroaches crawling into our room. I don't wanna freak out as and when again. I want all these dirty little pests out of this house!! In Jesus Name!!! And also the sickness and pain and cancer that is depriving my mum of her joy!!!!

I felt constrain, stress, unhappy.

2009-05-08T11:43:00.003+08:00

I want to be happy again. And that's what Eugene wished too.

I was lamenting. Scolding GOD, in the toilet and under my blankets. ('Cause these are the only 2 places where people can't see me and say that I am crazy again.)

I know I am demanding. But have anyone thought of how I felt before they keep insisting that I put myself in their shoes? Eugene said I am selfish. So I proudly declare I am one. But God still loves me. But if GOD loves me so much, he will not want me and will change me to be not selfish. But how come these people don't get it that for things to change, they need time.

Eugene said I'm just giving myself excuses, whatever~ Yes.. they are my closest kin and they will want me to be a better person. But do I not want myself to also be a better person? This is so straining. Why can't they just stop forcing me to be this perfect person whom they want me to be?

I felt so confined to this place on weekdays when I was free to go anywhere I want and like last time. But now, I can't so I obliged. But given any maids or anyone. They need off days too. And that include me. I said I will be going to church this Sunday. And 2nd sis says:" So you going out the whole day again?" in a not so nice tone. I wonder why I was needed at home all day.

Spending time with mum is good. But quality is better than quantity you know? So what if I'm at home whole day. She'd still be sleeping and me? Online if not do what?

I have my life too. I have my friends. I was not allowed to go out late too often last time, given that I was already in my mid 20s. And now? Because of my mum, I had to sacrifice my relationship too? And indeed I will not get married and no one wants me.

2nd sis sent me an sms- "I'm not nagging, but to remind you to spend more time with mum, see to her needs when we're not around, sleep early and gets up when she's up. You should look after her and not the other way around. Time to grow up and be independent. When she's not around and you look back you can proudly say you've looked after her well in her final days. It'll be a good feeling and you won't regret! Just like how we've looked after Steve's dad."

I know the whole context of this msg. But question is... have I not spent more time with mum? How much more is more? I have my life, she has her family life, and 1st sis have her life too. So I have to put myself in their shoe.

Sleep early and gets up when my mum gets up and see to her need. I really have no idea why my mum gets up so early for what. She has been a morning person. After my flight, I just need my sleep, my rest. waking up at 9am is already considered early for me. What more they want?

Have I not see to her need? For now she still can bathe herself and she is ever so stubborn that she insist she don't need help from any of us. So..fine. No point nagging and shouting. If she's like that, I'd just leave her alone. It's not I'm not concerning. But why can't they understand? She's coughing, I ask her, shall I take some cough syrup for you? She said...don wan don wan! Fine. I did my part.

I felt like vomiting after staring at the screen for like 2hrs.. i think i feel sick.

But shall finish this.

Grow up? I was not given a chance. Have I not? Physically I have. And I am grown up just that they just kept seeing the little kid in me.

Why do I have to proudly declare I have taken care of my mum? Who do I have to declare it to? Who do I have to show? Isn't it our duty to take care of her? Have I not done so? So who do we need and have to tell or show we have taken care of her in her final days. As long she knew I knew and God knows. It's good enough for now.

To her needs... she's just ever so naggy and insisting I do things their way and at their timing. Yes! She's a cancer patient. But I know what I am doing and I like to do it in my own timing. Can all these people get off my backs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's all taken care of. If I don't get the chance to try and learn, how the hell I am able to grow up???

I'm really feeling sick staring at this tiny screen. Shall continue again when I take my rest~

:) Self-encouragement..... It's ok Yuki... Jesus is always around. See no fogging and no cockroaches today~ :)

I learn...

2009-05-08T11:30:00.002+08:00

A normal weekday routine will be getting up at 9am plus. Take my breakfast. Wait for lunch time, and Sera(my niece) to be back. Before that, packed lunch for her and it's a rule to have food before on the table for her before she's back. Lunch for mum too, then medicine. Then mum will rest. Sera will take her nap till 3.45pm and I'd be maybe taking my nap too.

On a non-normal weekday routine, (where I was allowed to cook for the family. Yes I know how to cook, just that I was not given a chance to prove I can.) I will be getting up at the same time, go marketing, buy lunch for both mum and Sera and wait for her to be back. After lunch, wash the dishes, she and mum take their naps. I take in the clothes and iron them (didn't mention this in the above paragraph). Rest awhile, prepare and cut the veges and meat that are to be cooked later. (That's when I have my ME time~) By 3.45pm, wake Sera up, and by 5pm start cooking. And mum will bath herself, while I clean up after cooking, because that's one of the rules too.

When the dishes are done, I need to mop the oily floor and if I can, use the magic cleaner to clean the living room and bedrooms. Look at me, I'm 28, single and have never done housework. I think I have began to feel and look like a housewife now. All of a sudden I miss flying.

A day passes just like that. So I can imagine how tiring it is to be a housewife. And there's tones of housework to be done... ALL day long~

I thought I was free.

2009-05-08T11:13:00.004+08:00

Had moved to my 2nd sis's place, so that mum will have some peace and will be able to rest well.

It was quite a sudden decision to move out of my childhood place. That day, I declared I was "FREE" when I step out of that door. All the shoutings and quarrels no more!!!

Me and mum was actually... erm... chased out of the house by the evil old man aka. my dad. His old and kept wishing he is senile. But too bad, he's not. He has been like this ever since so long ago. There are times when I don't think he's even concern for me, but just so afraid that I don't give him allowance. Anyway, I don't need that anymore.

In a way, it's also good, as it's hard to get my mum out of this unhappy place. It started with a quarrel between old man and my 1st sister. Then old man started throwing all that he had bought on the floor, breaking them.... (to scare us.) He's always threatening, hope that we will be fearful of him and we will listen to him. Will not forget he hit mum and blame her just because he needed money. To me, I think he didn't really 100% have been a good husband and good dad. All he wants, was money. He was always saying of selling the house and divorce with my mum (which I hope that can happen), but my mum was too soft? And kept asking, where will he stay if we were to sell the place?

Till today, or since we left home like a month ago, I still have this uneasiness that I am ultimately not 100% free at all yet.

Moving to Bishan, is a new place with a new start. But if the old place minus out the noisy nagging from the old man, it'd have been a peaceful and nice place to live in. Mum agreed to that as well.

But moving here means new rules, and more constraint. If not for my mum, I really don't have to go through all this. I want too... so much to meet my mum's need in joy. And not felt like it's a chore to do all this. Imagine, I have been back in SIN for a week. I was back on a Sat. Out relaxing with Eugene on Sunday and looking after my mum from Monday till Friday. (Today)

It's like I've worked a full 5 day week with no holidays and I really look forward to weekends and to go for my facial and massages as and when as I like.

Ok.. I have no idea how long this will take, but this is definately taking a strain in my own life.

The result

2009-05-08T11:02:00.002+08:00

So mum was hospitalized. I guess I've been selfish not asking her along to attend my graduation. I was afraid I cannot afford. So I just the tickets myself and I really want her to be there. Just like during my poly graduation. I want to take a photo with her together in my graduation robe which I have been longing to wear. I think this will be one of the regrets.

I only got to know the truth after I'm back from Adelaide. Somehow I don't feel quite alright and wanted to cry and felt quite uneasy when I receive weird sms from my brother-in-law. Asking me when will I be back and when will I be flying off again. I asked him if he needed anything? He said no. That's when I felt something is not right.

When I'm back at the airport, calls started coming in and I was informed of mum's condition. Doctor said she only have weeks or months. But I believe in Christ. Really, a miracle. But... ... She has outlived the weeks and I believe there will be years to come. Because Alex's mum had 6years.

I couldn't stop crying. Was asking around for help. Called my CGL, told her to pray for my mum and she called church for me. They sent a leader and church gave me 2 pastor Mark's CD for mum to listen. She's open to all these just that not ready to accept Christ yet?

I keep thinking if I've not sent her to the hospital that day. I really will NOT forgive myself!!! will live in guilt for the rest of my life~

1st post of 2009

2009-05-08T10:48:00.002+08:00

I'm finally back again~ After the last rounds of blogs that were dated so long ago.

Suddenly felt like blogging again. To once again remind myself of God's goodness and I am really not alone.

I have tentatively moved to Bishan to take care of my terminally ill mum. And it's gonna be mother's day this coming Sunday. What mother's day? Everyday can also be mother's day what. Hm...

Thinking back about that day when I was forced to send mum to the hospital, I do still feel a bit bitter. I think I really don't understand old people. They insist they don't want what, because they are afraid they might be a burden to us? Hm... That day, doctor told mum she had to be hospitalize because she lack of blood. She came home told me, and I asked her want me to send her to the hospital? She said no need, she just need to rest. So I just take it that she wants to rest lor. I was suppose to do my nails because in 2 days or so later, I'm going to Adelaide to attend my graduation.

I sms my 2nd sister, and her sms looks angry. She insist I should send mum to the hospital as she may collapse any minute and die? So I think I am really not going to forgive myself. Reading that sms, (I was already at outram park), I reluctantly got up and waited for the return train.

Called mum on cell to inform her to change now, and I am on my way back to fetch her to the hospital. It felt weird, because she was apologizing to me. But she was all dressed and packed her toothbrush and a little towel just incase she's gonna be hospitalize.

She still ask me, taking bus? Kao... I told her take cab lah, I can still afford. So off we went to Alexandra hospital and it was raining heavily.

End of story? They took her blood sample and finally she had to be admitted because they found something else....

Jesus..what is this?

2008-08-21T17:01:00.002+08:00

Really LOrd, how how how?

Why can't I just relax and enjoy myself? Relek lah~ (OK, peace on the boat) a reminder, you are sleeping peacefully despite the stormy sea.

I guess it shall be great? Watching fireworks on the floating marina bay? Hm...sounds sweet. But if he can read my mind, then I will know that it's from you? If by what I say he do, then it's not from you~

Are you telling me LOrd, watch and see? Patience.... .... peace.... and joy~

Is blogging more important than Assignments?

2008-08-21T16:47:00.002+08:00

My answer will be YES, because I need to record this down in order to remind me myself that GOD has always been by my side.

I am looking forward..erm...ok la, looking forward to watch this fireworks by the bay~

Now then I remembered, I prayed a prayer, or was it just a casual prayer (remark). I told Kris that I don't wanna be hurt anymore, so Lord, if it's not shut the door, lock it, hammered it with lots of nails and planks and remove that door in Jesus name. Oh well, my casual prayer was... I hope to find someone whom I will not have a crush on, and it'd be him liking me first, so I don't have to make the first move. I think I told Kris this about maybe a week ago?

Hm... thinking about it now, it seems really weird. Do God just make it happen? Or was my prayer just in time for this 'thing' to happen?

I can only say this is really really weird. Though I have flashback, but Jesus, really, seriously, if He's NOT the one, don't play a joke with me. He's really nice, so nice till he offered to help me with my assignments and sent me his assignments, so that I can have a reference. He's really sweet too... taking details of my little comments. He is really unlike Dave the loser.

Shall I give myself 3-6months? Or I shouldn't even waste my time in the first place? This is but a feeling...it'd go away right? What lies ahead? ONly you can see the big picture, LORD~ You TEll me!!~

Show me show me the way~

2008-08-21T02:06:00.002+08:00

Show me the way, if what is going on right now will not hurt me. Jesus I want to follow your way, but how much obedience do I have in following you? What you have said 2 weeks ago, of stop looking out for love in the wrong direction. So which is the right direction? If right now in this case, it's not me whose looking out for love in the wrong direction, and yet it seems like it's love looking out for me from a wrong direction, shall I even accept?

So meaning if, the direction is not from church and of the world, then Lord I ask of you to shut this passage off~

If this is not for me Lord, let us just be friends... I want nothing more out of this and I am really afraid Lord~ In me, it seems like I have an answer but I am not 101% sure. Make me, give me Lord, a 110% sure.

Good night Lord~

Amen... (Thank you for reminding me to wait and to cultivate patience....thank you Jesus~)

Feeling low again.. ...

2008-08-20T14:56:00.002+08:00

Lord...why this kinda feeling again Lord?

Camp is coming in about 12 days, that's 1 week plus more. Why am I still in this roller coaster mood? One minute, I can be so excited about You and camp, next minute, I ask myself, what's my purpose in the team. Why am I always running away from something when I feel I cannot make it. Can I stop running away from it. Hm.. (thank you for telling me, you will be in it with me.)

So what's with this feeling? Friendship. What are friends? Why people measure friendship and being in a community by the number of years? Oh well, I do too... telling people I've been working in the same company for 7years. Is there a connection?

Maybe I do know what is wrong, yet I'm brushing it off again. Maybe a few sector concern Jo, she has been telling me this and that, well I know she's just protecting these younglings. But has she take my feelings into consideration before? I somehow hate church, hate going to church. I don hate the church on the whole, I just hate all these people in the church. Why are they making themselves sound so "holy". What's the point of serving in church in the 1st place? Pastor said, all people come with a whole set of different reasons. Be it good of bad, but God will make the reason be in line and there will be an answer. Why am I still asking myself this Question after serving for 1 year? The thought of being a crazy person comes into mind.

If I become a crazy person, I may not be so bothered about what people think of me. I can be in my own world, and say whatever I like, because I am crazy. I do not have to bother about offending anyone for what I've said and I do not have to please anyone, just because I have to. I can laugh as I like, I can cry as I like, but... but... I don't wanna be alone.

What is this logic that friendship takes time, it takes time for people to know you. SO?? Meaning you don't know me, but that doesn't means that I can be myself. I am ME!!! I don't like acting being someone else to please people for someone I am not~~!!! Too bad if you find me too crazy. I'm sick of what people are saying.... I just want all of them to shut up for a minute! Well just a minute LOrd, because.... ... I have no idea too....

I'm craving for twistie, and some cookies, heck it that I'm coughing, and that my mon and dad will nag. I am old enough to know. So why am I still doing it? Didn't You say, that by your strips I am healed. If I am healed, I can fairly eat whatever I like, and I do not have to take any responsibilities. Why am I being so hard on myself? I just wanna finish my assignments and enjoy. Nothing wrong with that rite?

Lord, I just have to focus and do my part in serving you. I am not doing all these to please men. I am but human too, I need care, and concern, and encouragement. Maybe I'm not born to be a leader, I just want to do things that I am instructed. I'm happy with that for now. What is her problem when I say I am not confident about 'catching'? She need to change her tone. And stop being inconsiderate about asking people to throw your dirty tissue paper away. I had enough of that while working, because I am paid. Lord, do not let people over used their authority, just because you said we should submit to our leaders. That is not right!! They should learn how to throw this things away themselves and not ask people to do it for them!!! You ask me to hold things for you can, but what's wrong with you asking me to throw away your used tissue paper that looks like so much germs.... what's up???

And Lord can you tell her to Stop being so protective over the new people. They have to learn. And then You can start changing me maybe first, and teach her to also think of my feelings!!!

I want to eat my twisties now~

A healthy morning!!!

2008-04-16T10:00:00.002+08:00

Good morning Singapore!!!

Wow...I was up at 7.20am today, after a peaceful night sleep. Vividly, I heard the sound of my mom shutting the gate. And when I looked up, it's 7.20am. Thoughts came to my mind, should I get up, change and go buy my newspapers and to enjoy it with my delicious breakfast? Or should I get up, changed and join my mom and the aunties for a walk in Portsdown?

Well...I made the second choice. So I got up, tidied my bed, refresh myself, changed and put on my comfy Adidas shoes and I headed for the stairs, 9 floors down. (I hope I can still catch up with the aunties, it's only 7.30am. I don't think they would have gone far.)

A quick and light walk across the wet grass patch, onto the running pavement, under and over the rusty fence, what's in front of me is the Malaysia train tracks. So easy easy and carefully walking over the stone ground, over the tracks and here I am at Portsdown. So over the planks that acts as a bridge covering the drain, and follow the trail of stone path way that leads up to Portsdown. I hope I can catch up with them.

The thought of waking up so early and I was actually walking and breathing in fresh air, makes me happy. Thank you Jesus~

Walking for a while later, thoughts of running came to my mind, so I ran. Maybe this is the start to my training for the upcoming 15km run. Haha...

Not far ahead, I saw them walking to the Safra country club or something, and so I walked faster to give them a surprise. Oh...no...it seems like a bunch of army kids, boys, some girls and some uncles from SAF doing warm up at the carpark, shall not see or stare and mind my own business. So the minute I stepped on the carpark grounds, I sprinted towards my mom and aunties. And they did get a surprise, especially my mom, she looks so shocked. (Priceless)

So the usual walk with them, but today we took a different route. Met Dexter the dog on the way with the tiong bahru auntie, this cute little baby who is Holland and Japanese mixed with her Japanese ah ma and the whole loads of SAF personals doing their run ( I overheard, 3 bloody rounds.) Some have given up and a small group are chatting while the steady ones are still hanging on. Sweating it.... oh gorgeous toned body...(wipe your saliver please.)

The usual... the aunties will turn into flower thieves. (采花贼）and will be plucking the flowers from this tree which gives out a very nice smell, and now I have some next to my computer desk, cheap and nature air freshener, but do beware of ants.

Ah..talking about ants, I do not know why my computer desk is infested with tiny ants which can only be found in the kitchen. Chris said they moved house. I hope they do not move into my laptop. (Though thoughts of getting a mac book air comes into mind), nah.... I still love Microsoft.

So after the run, walk and enjoying the morning sun and fresh air, it's time to walked over to the market place to get my morning news and the day shall start from there. Schedule: After breakfast, shower and start making phone calls for wine list, then assignment time, which by now I'm still typing my blog, but I have finished making the wine enquires. Lord, I wanna go to FHA, can you get me a pass, or I don't know how you are going to do it, but can I go?

Before I end, I will like to Praise the Lord for making me going for the run and get to know this auntie whose haunted by bad dreams and she has been seeing a psychiatrist. She told me she have been having bad dreams in the middle of the night, of tigers, snakes and people chasing her. I used to have all those too, and it is stress. Heard from my mom that she's the auntie who will chase people with her chopper when she's being pushed too hard, I think some kinda mental breakdown, and it scares people, even her daughter.

I dono why I actually asked her if she don't mind sharing with me why she's been visiting the psychiatrist. And she started saying about her sickness, panick attacks and nightmares. So I just merely asked her if she has a religion. She say have, so I thought it's Buddhism. But she said 基督教，so is that Christian or Catholic? Whichever lah, doesn't matters. As long we believe in Jesus Christ, that matters.

So I ask her to read her bible, any verse which speaks to her and before she sleep, just declare to Jesus that he blesses her with good sleep. At this moment, I noticed that she's covering her mouth with her hands, like in a dis belief kinda way. So I was thinking, what did I say wrong? She was like in a mode of I cannot believe that you said the same thing as my daughter. Because her daughter said somewhat the same thing to her, telling her to think of good thoughts rather then letting the dreams invade her mind. My way... Just pour it all out to Jesus and he will provide.

Anyway... I'm glad I went for the run and joined the aunties. I know He can make a difference for all circumstances through me, and that's a honour.

Differences between men and women~

2008-04-15T18:06:00.003+08:00

Now I do agree with what my lecturer said, that men and women shops differently. In the sense that, a man knows what he wants, walks into a store or say supermarket, get what he wants and pay for it. All in all for a couple of minutes, depending on the queue. And for a woman, she will stop by at every aisle and every corner and get more than what she wants. (Maybe she may stay in the supermarket for more than an hour?)

This happens to me today. I was at Anchor point Cold storage and I was craving for a pack of chips, so I got the Calbee sour cream chips for $1.65. And then, bread comes to my mind, so I hopped over to the bread section, and got a pack of 4 hamburger buns for $1.40, before heading to the ham section for a 100grams of walnut ham for $3.65, and not forgetting Kraft's single cheese, 8 slices for $2.80. And don't forget Orange juice!! I foresee that I will crave for orange juice next morning, so I bought a pack with full of pulps and I saw a new yogurt for sales. Buy 2 and get a free muslee bar or something. So I grabbed 2... haha... so in total I spent $15.80 when in the first place, all I wanted was just a pack of chips.

Ahh.... but I am happy~!!!

Another Fire broke out!!!

2008-04-03T12:34:00.003+08:00

Yet another fire broke out!! Not at my block, but my opposite block. Blk 55. Why do I say yet another? Because a fire broke out at the same block this year on Feb, the 15th day of chinese new year. And now, it's just april, yet it happened again.

To me, it seems that life is unpredictable. On that fateful day of the first fire, quite a number of things happened, in my life. I ended a 7 years friendship with a friend whom I suspected of stealing my money, was still talking to weird jerk then, sorta he was the one who gave me courage to confront my friend, and yes I lost it all. Anyway..life still goes on.....

Today, April 3rd, another fire occured and it came across my mind, that no fire, no weapons formed against me shall prosper. My block will be spared and no harm will come upon my household, 'cause I live here. As as Jesus is, so am I in this world. So Jesus guards my household and my block, because I live here!!! Amen~ I shall not look at the past nor shall I worry about the future, I shall live my life NOW, because Jesus is the NOW GOD. He is among us right now. That I ought to remind myself, my days will just get brighter and brighter by his grace and righteousness.

I was doing my assignment yesterday, and I just squeezed and squeezed my brain juice and somehow a line came out which I just keep thinking, my english not so powderful de le....
"Weblog is a new window for media advancement" wow....chim le. SM says this is the only kind of line you see on a powerpoint presentation. There's only one answer. It's not me, then who else? My Jesus..my inspriration of course.

I shall not ask why do I always attract the wrong people. For I shall declare that because of Jesus loving kindness and tender mercies, (grace) makes me a better person, so therefore I am attractive. And I attract anyone, though not everyone, but at least I'm attractive la. Be it of physical or inner beauty, I'm just happy being me. And walking with Jesus, just makes my days so exciting. :)

A timely sms

2008-03-21T06:44:00.002+08:00

It's really amazing how GOD just remind me in split seconds that I am his most beloved!!! After posting the zoo outing entry, I instanously received an sms from xiaoping, my CGL that " As I was praying for you, I felt God wants you to know that HE has his hands upon your life, in fact HE has protected you from greater harm and greater hurts. HE loves you more than anyone on this earth as if you are the only person on this earth. Fear not! For your valley experience will fade away very soon, and your cheerful self will come back and infect all around you. Nature celebrates you as the morning sun rises ever so faithfully. Thank HIM for a new day filled with grace! Love you. :-)"

Wow..isn't it amazing. I will lock this moment in my heart for reminder. This joyous moment that left me smiling. It's even better than any other things. :)

It's Zoo day today!

2008-03-21T06:22:00.003+08:00

Wow.... It's Good friday...zoo outing day today. The Lord will provide a fun fun fun filled day with good weather and fellowship!

You can see how excited I am! It's 6.25am!!! I was actually up at 5am, becase I cannot sleep 'cause I'm too excited!!! Haha.... The Lord reminds me that I should forget the past. Meaning... things that happened yesterday, last week, last month or even last year. Because it is all finished!! Whatever sins or silly mistake I've made, he has given me new manna everyday for what I need. And I am so filled with joy now for I realise that the walk with HIM is so interesting and fun. There's so much to learn and there's just so much to see. Look beyond! And not just infront. Look ahead! Amen.

There's only so much my bottle can contain, and I don't have space for worries anymore. Now I really want to, have to and will pass it all to the Lord whose hands are far far far more bigger than mine for HE is the universe. I will forgive those who have hurt me. Especially the most recent one, because I am moving on already. Because I know I am in good hands and my journey? It's going to shine brighter and brighter. By HIS grace, strength and righteousness, HE will change me even before I start knowing. And I am looking forward to that. Maybe I am transforming now.. :o.

I am just so excited~ I have the holy sprit as my guide, Jesus as my teacher and Abba my father. What more shall I ask for. Lord, you have provided me with my every needs and you will still continue and have answered all my prayers! Just have to remind me all the time. I do not need joy from the outside to fill me, but I need your joy that's from within to uphold me. Oh Abba...It's so sweet compared to the love from outside which is so unstable. I really do not want that kinda feeling anymore. I shall now... STOP....LOOK(SEE).....WAIT then decide to step out and cross anot. But even though there's heaven traffic and I've decided to step out? You will still hold my hands and lead me to the other side. Oh.... so sweet.... Thank you Jesus for ALL you've done for me. Restore back the friendship I have lost and thank you for providing more to come. :)

With all I am

2008-03-19T07:01:00.002+08:00

I bought this CD For All You've Done by Hillsong from the Rock bookshop yesterday. I've actually wanted to get them on 22nd Feb when I was there with a friend for his birthday lunch. Rock bookshop said they didn't have the CD as at that date but they will call me asap when they have the stock. Actually I only wanted the song With All I Am. This will be the song from you-tube.

This is the song which have been keeping my mind occuppied for the past weeks and have been a reminder to me that Jesus loves me. :)

Another thing to update is that I was up at 6.40am and I received an e-mail saying that my IDP lecturer's house in south adelaide was on fire, and he lost ALL his possessions and research notes!!! He and his family survived but was left with literally just clothes he was wearing on that fateful day. The first thing that came on my mind after reading this e-mail was...Wow.... I actually don't feel sad for him but in fact I felt joy... WHY? because I have a desire not bringing my laptop to work this weekend, and now I don't have to because deadline has been extended!!! I not inhuman, but after happy for awhile, then I felt compassion for him, so? There's also nothing I can do for him what, since the course director (who sent the e-mail) said that the rest of the lecturers are helping him as much as possible at this instance. So... I just have to concentrate on my own things and not let this bother me. Anyway...It did not~

First thought: "WOW"...God knows my desire but HE is not responsible for the fire. In a way it was bad news for him as I have said, but it was a happy news for me? (I'm not sure about my classmates lah!) At least I have one less worry lor~ Hee...

I'm going to the zoo with the events team this good friday. God knows ALL my worries and desires. I just have to have faith for it. Even of little faith (size of a sesame) that I have, he still blesses. Even if I don't serve in Events ministry, he blesses me as well. Jo assured me that I do not have to feel sad for I am always not around for meeting because of my working schedule. And the sms from Lao Vic came at the right moment and he mentioned that it's fun having me around. Woo... Jo also felt hair standing on her arms. I felt not accepted but in fact the team actually loves me. i just have to make the decision to take the first step and the rest~ God will 'long zhong' (ALL) handle it all...Haha... I miss pastor mark's preaching. I'm just filled with so much joy NOW.... Thank you Jesus!!!

For this march, after this many incidents, I was so occupied suddenly after it all ended. I was not like I had nothing to do and that he was the only one I wanted or needed to hang out with. It was really amazing how God works. I just have to stand firm on my decision for He knows what's best for me. His precious little girl. I'm far more worthy and precious than a gem or a diamond. Those who thinks they can reserve me for their own good, I got to ask you to stay away or F@#* off. Yes!! I'm a believer!! Stay away if you can't see and feel God's love. I really do not wanna waste my time for such people. The Lord guards my heart and protects me from ALL harm. He is the almighty God, my savior and redeemer. He is God, my abba, the Son and the Holy spirt. Jo says I don't have to isolate myself from the world and thinks that I don't have friends 'cause I already have 3~

It's really just amazing...there's no other words that I can describe God's work. It brings joy to me and I simple love it~ I'm special and HE loves me so much for HE counts the hair on my head. HE allow trials and tribulations, but it doesn't means he don't care. I stand firm that I know Jesus will always be there for me and he will. :)

Bad day?

2008-03-13T00:52:00.001+08:00

I need a hug too~

I think I pissed people off again, unintentionally.

2008-03-13T00:05:00.002+08:00

Alright..how do I start? I have no idea what's wrong with my classmate which seems helpful but they are not AT ALL helpful. Lip service...hate it. IS there anything wrong with me? Or what's wrong with these people? Beginning of term...ya...everybody dono each other's 'bawu', so very nice ma, now after 2terms.... all the chow chow ah bu neh neh bawu all come out. Say helpful, helpful my ass... so I know I have nothing to offer in return for I am ..........(I'm not gonna call myself stupid or silly~)

Maybe it's a coincidence that they may not know. But all the time? And I just asked one of my study group mate for help and as usual:"Not done yet~" Fine!!! and said she'd back soon to chat with me, I expect she's not going to.... arrogant freak!!!

And am mad about e-mail thingy. So I am truely, sincerely sorry for sending e-mail to ALL for asking help for my assignments in my events team. If you people don't like it, fairly well ignore it! I guess you did, 'cause no one replied to my nonsense. Well, one hero came to ask me about my 'outburst'. What is 'outburst'? Too chim you know, I just feel like and I type and send. Really feel like dropping out of events, I just feel that I don't belong again. This stupid feeling!!! All I just want is to have friends, why complicate things? Arrgh!!!

So now I know, it's not appropriate to send such stuffs in an e-mail especially to ALL, so next time no more reply ALL, and no more REPLYING!!! Not going to do that anymore. I'm just gonna keep it simple, that's IT!!!~ I don't need people to say that I am a good girl and that I am not going to do this anymore. If you are so afraid of people ditching you, GET A LIFE!!! (Read my lips.) I think I shouldn't be so friendly anymore, anyway, no one appreciates and I just might as well go back to my mean self, since everyone thinks I am. Fine~ I live for myself not anyone.
I just hate it that people link me with someone whom I have said and explained we are just friends. SO people STOP asking me where is HE when you don't see him, call him yourself!!! I'm not his nanny~ And I don't think I will go to church with him anymore, not getting things done through him, I can fairly do it MYSELF!!! You wanna tell people I ditch you? Fine go ahead, I heck it~ I'm NOT your girlfriend, never will be...NEVER( read my lips)!!!

It's really over!!! Time to start afresh~

2008-03-12T04:33:00.003+08:00

Yes!~ It's Over! Qoochan.... It's OVER!!! I've lost 2 friends, 1 in Feb and 1 in March. Way to go...Qoochan~ In a way, did I lose them or did they lose me? I wonder~ One of them just told me via sms that I DON'T have to sms, call or simple DO NOT HAVE TO CONTACT her anymore. Well...that's fine with me. I've made my decision and since you've said it. It's pretty fine, and I respect the decision.

For the next friend...Hm.... He simple didn's reply my sms and I told myself...that's IT~ It's really over!!! So I deleted his number and I no longer look forward to his message, in a way I save on my hp bills(good wat). If he decide not to see me or contact me anymore, It's pretty fine with me too. I heck it already la. If he decide someday or 2 months later to send me a how are you sms, shall see how lar, may or may not reply lor, since I don't have his contact list anymore.

Whatsoever~ I just want to read my novels, storybooks and finish my degree so I can leave that crap place! And maybe really save up and fly to adelaide to receive my degree? Woo...shall work towards that! For now...I really need to finish my assignment which is due when I'm back... Boy..I love been back~ to blog~ :)

Just arrive in new york~

2008-03-12T03:31:00.003+08:00

I've landed at new york city, not manhantten,but Long Island! (Boring~) This is my 2nd new york flight in March, my previous flight is new york and my next flight is new york again. I'm not complaining but it's really tired you know. The time difference simply drains my life force away. Though after coming back to SIN, I have about a week of rest, but resting too much makes me feels lazy again, totally have no idea what I want.

The thought of changing job pops up in my mind again. But thinking about it, I still like my current job. I cannot image I have a desk bound job, I'd go crazy!!! Because I cannot be confined in a limited space for too long, I'd feel claustrophobic...yee...can't stand the thought. So office 9-5 is out. So...what can I do after my contract ends? I still have 3 more years to think about it~

I'm feeling really tired now, but I felt great because I've finished reading Sophie Kinsella, Remember Me? in 5hours. It was a happy ending once again, and it's a happily ever after.
When will I have my happy ever after LORD?~ Soon?? Not wishing though am hoping but not in a hurry~ I'm kinda scare~!!!

I want to stop relying on people

2008-03-09T14:23:00.004+08:00

Thinking back on the 'care and concern' issue. It's not that I don't need 'Care and concern' from anyone. It's just that...I don wanna always rely on people's care, and I don't wanna make them feel without them I can't survive. Thinking back, I think I rely too much on my ex, and he did most of my things for me, for eg: call for my dog's grooming (even till now, sometimes I ask for his help, cos he knows the groomer better than I do), courier me my camera when i forgot to bring them to my friend's house, and so many more. After breaking up with him, I just have to do things on my own. There's no regret, I can't simply rely on people all the time what, unless... hmm...

I'm tired! I'm really tired~ Tired of all this thinking... tired of repeating myself like an old record, when people don't take my words as consideration, when what they say, that I ought to take in. Is it fair? What is consider fair? This world is not fair!

How I wish I can sleep all I want and when I finally decide to wake up, all my worries are gone for good. (Unless I lose my memory)I think a certain part of my memory was lost dated 3 years back, trying hard to remember, but God sometimes makes you forget things...Things that hurts... So forget also good lar....

I just want to be a strong Qoochan...healthy and rich in Vitamin C and B complex. I just want to be me. I want to change! Change for good and I'm not thinking too much~ I'm just being sensative to what people are saying that's all. If I know who I am, what I am, then I do not have to bother about people's wrong perspective of me! I just have to be ME, and stand firmly and understood that CHrist has redeemed me from all my sins and I shall not be condemned!! Hallelujah~ I just have to keep reminding and encouraging myself.... Yes!!!

I need some rest from now~

Work again after a long break

2008-03-09T13:00:00.004+08:00

Am going back to work today after 1week of off days and a couple of standbys in Singapore.
Have not finish my assignment for D&P yet...Aargh... it will be due when I get back. So no shopping in japan and new york~ (Actually have not shopped since donno when la, I actually lost my sense of shopping.) I'm not sure what's wrong with me, maybe because I've been kinda stress with the assignments and school fees. I think I just worry myself too much. So friends I need reminders.... but don't make it in a lor soh way. Don't keep asking me: "How's your assignment coming along? Remember to finish it okay?" Hello~ I'm no 3 year old thumb sucking kiddo alright? I know you all care, but I do know when to do it and I am also very discipline as I reward myself with a game or my favourite food after I have finished my assignments. (I can't wait for anyone to do this for me, I just have to self reward myself... too bad~) When I'm relaxing, DON't ask me about how's my assignments coming along, it's kinda fustrating at times. 'Cause you may not be the only one asking me the same question. But come to think about it, ALL these people just Care? Ok...lor~

I used to tell my friends this joke about the Top 10 most frequently asked Question by people regarding me or about my job. Drums roll.....~

#1: So what are you working as?
#2: Oh...is it SIA or is that Anna?
#3: Wah...so good, so you fly around the world lor?
#4: So pay very good hoh?
#5: So you get free ticket right?
#6: So...I see you've been to the whole of japan liao lor?
#7: Coach in states very cheap hoh? (They are hinting something here...)
#8: So when's your next flight?
#9: When you coming back huh?
#10: Where are you going to next?

Yawn.... Boring.... I'm not saying my job, but please people, please spare me. It's been 6years, I've been repeating the Top 10 model answers for 6 long years~ Maybe I should count how many people ask me the Top #8-10 question. It will be kind of fun when I'm bored. Lol~

I think I'm hooked on blogging, I have no idea how long I've bottled up all my anger and thoughts. (It's been 2 years) I thought I have shared with my friends and I'd fine. But I guess It's better to pen it down here so that ALL (those who are invited) can read. And also that if in the near future when I become more forgetful, I can still come back and read more about me. :)

Re-comment on my past post.

2008-03-08T16:17:00.003+08:00

I was reading my past posts last night, or rather early this morning around 3am plus? I shared with a friend on my blog, 'cause I really hope someone can give me some advice somewhere or sometimes some of my posting are only meant for HIM, my #1 friend, my saviour, my redeemer, the LORD who gave me a new lease of life.

After reading my entries dated 2005, I find that I'm talking like a kid, venting all my anger about work and the old man. Haha.... Kinda funny. And my friend said that I was kinda violent, cause I was so mad with my boss then, because of crappy flight, (eat grass flights), I swear or rather said I wanted to burn the office down, and hit my boss's head with the ash tray. Boy...was I violent. HAha.... That was me then....

For the NOW me, I can still be violent, but I chose not to. I choose to be someone sweet and nice. Not trying to be, but I am and will be. Angry words from an angry person is but just for that moment. If the words hurt someone, it's not gonna be good. And I really really do not wanna hurt anyone anymore. Because I do not want people to do it me too, so I shall do my duty first.

There are certain posts which I mentioned that "trials and challenges are given by GOD." I will like to disagree with my then self. Trials and challenges are NOT given by GOD. They are part of the package given by the world, or comes with this broken world. We are "IN this world, but NOT of this world." () How can GOD gives us challenges and then what?? Very weird right. Trials and challenges in life are a way to mold ourselves, to become stronger and have a clear sound mind of what is happening. These challenges that all people are going through and what I'm going through may or may not be the same, but there's always a lesson to learn at the end of it all. Be it family, relationship, finances, marriage, rebelious children...etc are all part of our lives. Had Adam and Eve not disobey GOD, eating from the tree of good and evil, though GOD warn them that they can eat from any trees in the graden of Eden, except the "fruit of the tree which is in the mist of the garden" (Genesis 3:3-5) we might not have fallen into this terrible world.

So do we point the finger at Adam? Anyway...it's all the past, so long already! But GOD is a faithful GOD, he sacrifice his Son for us mankind to redeem us from ALL our sins. "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but the world through Him might be saved." (John 3:17) [This is what happen la, for my friends who are non-believers, now you understand?]

In this walk with GOD (my walk), there are so many testimonies to share, and I have no idea where to start. But all I can say is be it that I am alone, and someone claimed that he will be here for me with no strings attached, and that he will be here to show care and concern for me. I just wanna let you know, you don't have to, because I know that this someone who will always be here and be anywhere for me is my LORD Jesus Christ, my friend and my savior. So sorry..worldly weridous, it's not that I don't need your care and concern, but if you just treat me like a friend, you don't have to? What if someday you are attached and will you still show such care and concern for me too? That's kinda hard to answer as...no one knows the future. So I guess it's just fine if you will show your concern as a normal friend,and not overly, I might get the wrong idea you know.

It feels so good to be back to blogging, and I didn't know that I can type so much (and I complain I cannot type 1000words for my assignment, and one post here is about 500plus words. And another thing is I complain that I cannot do referencing, but I think I'm doing a good job here. :p) And to that friend who thinks that woman are fickle minded, hm.... Chris do you agree? Maybe we are, maybe some are not. So it's kinda difficult to answer too. For me? Maybe sometimes I am fickle minded, as in I cannot make up my mind, and I tend to ask people for opinion like how will they actually handle the situation, and I'd study about the situation to find the best way (which survey shows as being the most used method) to handle my situations. Hee.... I think I really think too much le. Okok...I cannot blog le, I gotta get ready to attend Mark's wedding dinner le. I hope I get to meet some cute guys? Haha.... Qoochan is back~ and it's a brand New Qoochan~ :)

Yet another wedding

2008-03-08T12:52:00.000+08:00

Today 8th March is International Women's Day and it's also a happy day to remember for Mark and Mei Ling, because it's their wedding banquet. It was held in Grand Hyatt.

The theme of their wedding is BLACK and red, not sure if they have a name la. But it looks kind of cool and if most Chinese who are superstitious, will find that it's not appropriate. But they do have a combination of red color too. The aisle is decorated with stands of red roses, but overall ballroom seems kind of dim.

My original table should be No.15, but praise the Lord; I'm being changed to No.5 instead, with all my Gang, for Table 15 is a mixture of strangers and Meiling's relative. Blessed that I was changed to Table 5, though it was meant to be a couple table, meaning yes...I’m the #11. But it didn't matter as long I'm seated next to Meiqi and I have someone to talk to can already.

I went to set my hair at Vive's salon at paragon before heading to Mark's wedding. My hair looks bouncy, curly, and pretty and I just loved it! Meiqi says it's worth the price too...erm... not too ex la $45. (Hairdo....$45..... Made in Japan Purple Dress....$110...... My happy smile on my face....Priceless...~ ha~) < back from commercial break....quite a random one. Hee~

Kind of random, but I was being teased at for seating at a couple table, ‘cause seems like I am the single one. So what if I am the single one? I do have my desire to be attach what, just that the man has not appeared yet. It’s not that I have high expectations la; he’s just not here yet. So…friends…be it out of concern or kaypo~ness, stop teasing me. I smile and joke back doesn’t mean I can take all your jokes. I’m just hiding it.

A thought just flash-by, and I told Meiqi, maybe I scare guys away. And she told me it’s not, so I should not think too much again…Haha… “They are just not meant to be that’s all,” was her advice. Maybe I really need to learn how to slow down? So for now, I just want to concentrate on my studies and read my novels. Ya!!!

My next gang’s wedding will be in June and another in September. We are going to have loads of fun again. I really enjoyed Meiqi’s wedding, as I was the emcee, sister cum brother. And I was the head of ideas (making the brother’s life miserable.) It was really fun!! I give 5* and 2 thumbs up for her wedding for being the most joyous wedding whom all had fun! Award goes to the ever understanding Meiqi and Fan jian Soon kian. HAha…

Alright, I shall remind myself. “Qoochan~ don’t feel sad. Like Yuen says… though 3 years have passed, that means you have gone through 3 years and you are nearer to your blessing. Remember Mr Block? You prayed for him 3 years ago, and he’s blessing have come to pass… 3 years later. So... don’t be upset. Just think that you are one step nearer to your lovely blessing that God has promised. Amen.”

Though it's March 9th today, because blogger was kind of going crazy last night and I was not able to post. :(

I think I slept too much

2008-03-08T01:24:00.002+08:00

I'm having backaches. Due to... in coma since monday. The weather had been cooling and I have the luxury to sleep all I want, so am I complaining here?
Answer: I don't know~

Kinda getting fustrated again. BeCause.... I cannot concentrate on getting my assignment done.
What's wrong with me again? The more I push my stubborn self, the more I wanna give up. I can't be giving myself excuses again and again that I'd do it later. (Sorta like a spritual warfare: Left side tell right side: "Do YOUR assignment now, and don't be lazy!" And Right side replied: "Stop pushing! Aargh... I'm giving up!")

Am I thinking too much? But what's wrong with thinking too much? I really wanna not think too much too. Someone says I think too much sometimes and some matter are small issues, and after thinking too much, I make myself suffer. In a way, he's quite true la. Jesus....I wanna walk out from here, help me not to think so much can?

I may look confident on the outside, but on the inside, I felt like I'm a Tofu. So fragile and delicate.

I just happen to have a flashback. And maybe I do scare guys away. Hmm....it's a problem. But what actually did this guys do that trigger my insanity? That's something to ponder about too. But then for now, I really wish I can don't think so much.

Let's change topic:

I'm never a book person, back in poly days, I'd make sure that I keep a clean record in my library card, i.e...no borrowing of books. You ask me to read newspaper, magazine, I still can tahan, but books? Novels? Unless they are interesting la....if not 1st page send me to dream land.

But right now, after I've decided to study again, it seems that i'm changed. Not because I'm bo bian, got to read so many research papers, but gradually, I began to love reading books again. To my record, I finished the Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella in 2 days. Amazing~

What got me back into reading was that I received $20 Times voucher during Christmas gift exchange. So I got myself For One More Day by Mitch Albom. It just got me going. And while I was still reading For One More Day, someone seemed to have left The Undomestic Goddess on the plane, and I happened to pick it up. It just occupied my mind at that time. And the thought of blogging again came back.

Just on Thursday, I bought Sophie Kinsella's latest book: Remember ME? How I wish I can finish it at one sitting, but I think it'd take me 2-3 full days? It's crazy~

Right now... I'm thinking.... main piority is to finish my assignment which is due on march 17th. But it's not going anywhere. And I'd be away from 9th-16th march. God...please send help?

Time flies~

2008-03-07T06:12:00.003+08:00

Yes..... Time flies.
It has been 2 years since I last blogged.

Hm.... I was chatting with Chris online and she got me back into blogging.
Had been thinking of coming back here to vomit out thoughts and feelings and yet a question of who will actually read my craps?

Well...Chris does, (which she just told me) She's my #1 ONLY fan. Haha... Chris is my tanglin halt buddy, my kindergarden pal who held my helds while we were going to register in our new school, my primary school friend who shared her cardboard bed with me back in camp and pushed me away on one occasion when I was crying, because she say she will cry too if someone cried. Chris is a sweet friend who will be there to listen and be onzz in taking crazy pictures with me in the Singapore Biennale, the crazy thoughts we have in the dark room, christmas at her house which we eat on the marjong table, pumpkin crafting for post halloween... and so many more. (Tell me what I have missed out.)

These are indeed happy and joyous memories which are worth looking back and smile about. (Flashbacks)

So what brought me back here? And what have I been doing for the past 2years? IF anyone else read my entries. Haha...then not so bad, I do have a #2 fan. Maybe there is, maybe not. Wow...so much has changed, in technology wise. The blog I'm typing now actually auto saves. Amazing~

Well...for an update, I've taken out my braces and I look prettier day by day. I permed my hair last year and I look gorgeous. Haha....But I guess I'm still the same old me, but just that I've grown.... with wisdom? ;P

I have taken up a degree in Mass communication and media mangement. (If there's any....anyone at this point do come across and read my blog, do drop me a comment, cos it's kinda wweird of why am I self-introducing myself at 6.32am on a blog?) Is my degree making me too stressful and I'm not thinking right? I think...partially. And also that I have no idea how to approach and understand what's the main reasons of blogging?

2years ago, my blogs are just for me to vent my anger. Till now, I still have la. And not knowing that I do actually have 1 audience (my beloved one and only CHris), I don't care so much.
It's not that Chris read, so I cannot blog about just anything anymore. But now, I will think if I should blog about what happen to me or just share it with my friends instead, just in case, the people I blog about happen to read my entry? Though names had been changed to protect me, not the other parties....(haha), I guess it's not so nice?

Hm... what has happen to me this past 2 years? Am I behaving crazy? Or am I already crazy? This is making me crazy~ Ok...stop the crazy talk yuki! It's not good for your mind and soul. I guess I should get some sleep. Hm....and thinking I have 10 entries to submit for my assignment in creating a new blog, kinda "killing me softly.......with his blogs....~"

Blogs about craps - CAN, blogs about people i hate - CAN, blogs about life~ CAN, blog about technology and genre and issues in publication - WHAT CRAP?

Complain..... but still...I have to blog......
Blog again tommorrow or later or...... blog you as in see you? LoL.....haha,,,....

Please DO NOT squat on the toilet seats!!!

2006-06-20T15:53:00.000+08:00

I really don't understand, have I just stepped in to a china toilet or somewhere near. The floor is so wet and the seats are dirty. Blame the cleaners who do not do their jobs well, and blame the person who last used that cubicle!!! Auntie, you thought what? It is not 1980s ok??!! It is 2006 now!!! And all this places, make a guess people, which toilet have I just stepped out? It is none other then the ICA, Immigration & Checkpoints Authority building's toilet. The 1st level next to the cafeteria, and the 2nd levels are all as bad.

Talking about the cafeteria, the service are just as bad. Either they are underpaid or they just have an attitude. They are all elderlys and they are slow. Not that I'm judgemental over old people. Some are not that old, just that they are taking their own bloody time, that's all, if one wanna explain. And I can also see with my own eyes, that the public are so so so so so rude as well. There's this uncle, very obvious jumping Queue, and he still dare say he buy drinks already then decide to order the food. But, hey uncle, can you see all the poeple at the back? They also Queue up buy food first then decide buy drinks what? The auntie serving food answered back:" That's too bad loh, you have to Queue up again for the food!" The uncle then so yaya papaya:"Like that ah, DEN I DON EAT LAH!" Fine lo, You don eat, then don't block the way and stand down there Kao pei Kao bu!! Nobody gives a damn for you!!I just wanna get my chicken rice and finish it fast and leave this place. Well, actually the food not bad la,not tto bad, the chicken rice set is $3, and my root beer is $1 for a cup, you dispense yourself, ice up to you to add, no ice also $1, CHEAP! But presentation of food and service sucks. Place very very ultra dirty. Toilet....(shaking my head...sigh~)

After I finished my chicken rice, out of good will, I helped cleared the table and returned the trays to the uncle. Ta ma de, so unappreciative, fine...it will be the first and the last time that I will eat there!!! And don't visit the ICA unneccessary, use the toilets at risk!!!!~

My wisdom tooth...all gone in a day

2006-05-11T13:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday at 9.10am, I reported at ward 1, level 1, Alexandra Hospital to extract my 5 teeth. I was there alone, or rather Jesus is by my side. Although reporting time was 9.30am, I'm afraid that I'd miss the bus so I left home at 8.45am instead.

I was asked to enter a room with the bed which I will sleep on later after my surgery. It was weird, but I was not afraid, cause I've been speaking in tongue for the past few days. I was rather nervous though 2-3 days before the surgery.

After I have changed, I asked the nurse, so what should I do now, so she said,"On the TV and watch lah!" Yah hoh, why didn't I think of that.....Hehe.... So I switched and it was Jimmy neutron, my favorite cartoon. I am not alone. I was enjoying it and giggling to myself. Soon, the nurse came in and said it was time to go to the surgery room, so I followed her. There was another boy whom he was accompanied by his elder brother. I over heard that he was 3 years younger then me, because he recited his I/C number so loud. "84XXXXXX" Going to army soon..haha....ok I was kaypo~ But he was talking rather loud as well okay?!

We arrived at the surgery waiting room, and once again all these nurses started asking us the same thing 3 times, just for double comfirmation, my name, my I/C number, is it my signature, and how many teeth I taking out, I said 5. The boy is extracting out 3 only. Good for him!! Why 5 for me you may ask, 4 wisdom and 1 normal molar all extracted to make space for my upcoming braces...hehe...can't wait for that as well. In maybe 2 yrs time, or about a year as said by Dr Cheng, I will have a nice set of teeth already. So happy! I'm gonna be more BE U TI FUL!!

After checking and re-checking, I was called to enter the surgery room. I was calm and still able to joke. They asked me to lie down on the surgery bed, and I saw them strapping me up. I can still ask:" Is it you scared I struggle?" They answered:" No! The bed is too small, you might fall, if you are not strapped" Soon, they gave me the jab, and the "oxygen mask" given. In less then 5sec, I was in deep sleep.

I was awoken by 2 people who keep shouting my name, I heard a man and a woman calling my name so loudly. I somehow came to and somehow complaining. So noisy, I was sleeping okay?! The lady asked me how was I? I told her you woke me up from my dream, I cannot remember what dream, but all I could recall was seeing a house, that's it! My lips were dry, and I could not feel my lower lips, they seemed swollen to me, 'cause I cannot feel them. I keep asking the nurse if my lips look like sasuage? She sais NO. But it felt like sasuage to me. Oh well, whatever. I coughed abit and felt like grasping for breathe once again, like I was out of breath. I panicked and grabbed a nurse hand, but I could not see, 'cause I didn't open my eyes. But I was well, after spitting out the phlegm and all. And my nose was bleeding due to the tube being pushed down my nostrail to my throat to let me breathe. That was disgusting but I pulled through. Dr Sylvia Tan came over and patted my head and said:"Don't be miserable." I still asked her who? I guess I was still gorgy.

Soon I was pushed out to my bedroom downstair, It was kinda shiok to be pushed while lying on bed...A few ah nehs stared at me, but who cares, I was enjoying the ride. Haha...

This nurse called Cynthia, she was very patience and friendly. From her accent, I could tell that she's from hongkong, married here to a businessman husband, and they have a kid, didn't asked what sex la. But I was kaypo enough to dig out so much. Heehee~ She helped me wiped away the dry blood stain on my lips with ice cold water and also fed me apple juice. It's the sweetest apple juice I ever drank..Why? Because it's free and people feed you what?? Of cause sweet la!

It was 1plus and Charles Larling going to come pick me up ard 3plus. So while waiting, I slept awhile. He just so sweet compared to FB, cause he had taken half day leave to just come and send me home. Now the I realise that I have so many caring friends around me, so FB was nothing, and I shall forget him and move on.

Charles came and as I was too tired to get up, I slept again till 5 plus.For him? I think he just sat there and watch me go to sleep. Once again the nurse came in and check on me, but I was just too lazy to get up, can't you just let me sleep? What's the problem? Ok..Ok so you wanted me to discharge and go home sleep right? So I did.

Charles bought whip potato for me from anchorge point KFC, that was my first meal, since I fasted last night. Then Charles bought me my favourite Napolean ice cream, cause the nurse advise that I should eat ice cream for 3 days to stop the swell. So Charles larling bought me the whole tub, then we took a cab home. Once again, he's so sweet, but he's only a best friend and a brother to me.

These are the 5 gross looking teeth from my tiny mouth. It may look like 6, because one of them has chipped. I want them to be in memory here, because in a few days time, they will start to decay. For now, it has already started to stink in the container. Bye bye...tooth~ I'd miss you.... You will always in my mind!!! ALL of you~

Trust

2006-05-09T11:40:00.000+08:00

Will you forgive someone who break your trust? In Christianity, we should forgive our neighbours and pray for them instead when they have deeply hurt us, back-stabbed us, or almost killed us. But most of the time in the human world, there's no such things as "forgive"! You try to be funny? I give you back 10 times! How much you have hurt me, I make sure that you get it all back plus extra extra... a 100 times. These are just said when one is angry, pissed, agitated and totally gave up.

I have totally given up. Oh Lord can you just help me take it all away? You have sent me answers whom I ignored. I have seen the wall that you've shown me and yet i still drive on and almost banged into the wall. I will forgive him, but I just want him to leave me alone, and that my heart will not be shaken if he asked again.

The lies and reasons that multiply like a badminton have left me lose faith in him again. I chose to forgive him and to reagain the trust and yet, it seems that he's still hiding the truth. I do not need anyone like that! Nor does he deserve. He's not generous nor caring, excuses that he's busy with work, and lies and more lies that piled up. What's with work, and that he don't even have time to spend with me for a short lunch or dinner? More excuses... where have all the good man gone? Are they all dead? Or they don't exsist at all? Are these trials? I thank you Lord, for letting me learn. I have to let go of this, I have to and I'm going for my piano lesson soon..to keep myself occupied. Friends when you are free, ask me out ok? Love you all~

Thank You Daddy~ God

2006-05-07T06:53:00.002+08:00

I just felt so blessed this week, as blessings are overflowing. Not that only this week la, it happens everyday, if you realises it, as HE is always there for me.

My desire of a particular job has somehow being answered, as my contract is due on Oct 1st. At first, I really do not know what I want, cause most of the time I do not know what I want in life. All things that I wanted are just too material, well most or ALL does.

Ok, ok, back to my story... I have actually sent in my CV online for this particular prestigeous company while I was away in Las Vegas. When I think, why not, just give it a try, as they do not have recruitment in Singapore as yet. But when I got back to Singapore, (thursday, 4th may), my colleague told me that there is a walk-in interview this sat. I was like wow...so fast? Have ah??? Okok...I will go. But time is insufficient, I have only a day to prepare my CV, a passport size photo, and a full length photo. After chatting with my colleague, we have decided to try it out together. And while chatting, my Hp rang, and guess what? It's a call from New Creation Church--Laugh MInistry...wow..... They finally called me after 3 long months. (since I sent in my application online in feb), anyway, I was thinking...all must be GOD's perfect timing. I was thrilled. And guess what they have a casting also on sat!!! Thank YOu Lord, for making my day full.

On friday (5th may), I was in Millenium walk, as I have to help my Da jie get something, and i happen to pass by a make over photo shop, so I stopped and asked them how much they are charging fora set of passport size and a full length picture. And guess how much she quoted me? $148... Kao~ Hello...sista, you thought I look like cai tao (white carrot) is it? although I'm in a hurry to get those pictures doesn't means any fool will spend that kinda money toget the pics in 30mins( well kinda reasonable time.) But hey.... I ain't no tai tai ok? So I said I will decide and I have another appt with my Huiling at Orchard. I was asking my friends where can I jus get the instant ones? CHeaper ma... heehee... So I finally found one in Taka next to the POSB. $6 only for 4 passport size photo, somemore can take fun shots, cheap...cheap.....
I had a splendid evening with Huiling that night, and we did someting meaningful as well, we have contributed some paper lotus for the targeted 2 million paper lotus that had to be put up outside Taka. We found it intresting, so we sat down at the booth and started learning how to fold the paper lotus. And we met the master, or rather teacher that teaches all this people the craft of folding the paper lotus. And he's Japanese, we exchanged abit of the laungage, until I paused and became alittle pai seh(embarrased) when I don't undersrand what he had said, and nodded my head. ( That's what I have been or rather most of my colleagues are doing at work, don't understand also nodd la, just get it over and done with..haha....) The senseh was very nice, he knew that I have to go for an interview the next day, he told me to fold 1 last paper lotus and pray at the same time to get the job) He's really so nice, but I prayed for him instead, for him to be healthy always...as GOD is blessing me already....
Then Alfred helped me with my resume( must say here, cos he sacrificed his sleeping time to help me edit my poor english and helped printed my CV till 2am, den we went for prata...yum)

Sat (6th may), I went to the interview, and I got in. Least as I expected.... Thank you Lord, Thank You...I have not got the job yet, just a step nearer to it, cause I have to go thru 2 more interviews, the 2nd one with 4 rounds, so if I can survive that, most likely I'm going Dubai! Woo....
And I went to the casting in Mckenzie Road and it was fun, I tried the JIn Ja swee aunty role and the Ah lian whom have become a leader--caregrp leader role. It was hilarious!! But I enjoyed myself indeed...Thank You Lord for all ur overflowing blessings...In Jesus Name...Amen!!! And also for all the frens whom are there to support me, Erica and Simon~ THanks~

Dreams

2006-04-25T03:10:00.000+08:00

Deja vu? I do have some last time, but not so much nowadays, maybe I have lost my magical powers.. Haha... I had to blog these cause I had a chain of weird dreams during my stay in LA.
I woke up in the middle of the night, turned my head and saw that it was only 1.40am, so I went back to sleep. And I suddenly woke up again when it was about 4am plus, which in actual fact that I had a series of dreams in my last 3 hours sleep. Awaken fresh of remembering my dreams, I had to go online and tell somebody. So i found Bernard, he was there, I told him what I dreamt. And fortunately, Alfred was online as well, had to hear some advice from the great master of dreams, so I told him about my lengthy dreams. I can say it had 6 parts. 6 short clips like dreams. It was really weird, that's all I can say.

The 1st part was kinda eerie as said by them, but I didn't felt scared at that moment, the 2nd part was a part that left me scratching my head till now, did it mean anything? Anyway, Alfred did tell me to blog about my dreams so that I can read it over again the next time, since I guess I was so forgetful. But I told him there's not a need. But why now that I have decided to blog it? Cos I think my dreams have somehow some connections to what happen today. Or rather yesterday, afternoon. Yunsheng called me to ask if I'm free for a piano concert at Jubilee Hall. I went, had a lot of fun, and really enjoyed very much. He was really comical, the way he presented music, in such fun ways. What's the weird part was, after the German pianist had finished playing, I somehow thought of my dreams in LA. Cause the 4th part of my dream, I saw that I was playing the piano, which I do not know how! And I can see hands, at that moment, I thought it was mine, fast fingers, just running through the keys but really nice and beautiful music is being played. Somehow I thought it was me, but now I doubt so. After seeing the German pianist played. I think otherwise. What can all these means?

And regarding the 2nd part of my dream, Alfred said that maybe subconciously I had forgiven that someone which I had a crush on before and I had really forgiven him for the stupid things he had got himself into.

I just wonder why dreams seems so real? Why is this so? I have dreamt that I was driving, always raining while driving. And one day, someone gave me a green car as a present, which till now I do not have any driving license. So Alfred suggested that I go take my license asap. HAha,...With HIM, I have everything. Amen.

Learn the history and origins of Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T13:17:00.000+08:00

In the days of ancient Rome, the fourteenth day of February was a pagan holiday which honored Juno. Juno was the queen of the Roman gods as well as the goddess of women and marriage. The next day, the fifteenth, was the first day of the Festival of Lupercalia. This festival honored Juno and Pan who were two Roman gods. Fertility rituals were held on this day. On the night before the festival started,it was customary for the names of the Roman girls to be written on slips of paper. These slips were then placed in a container and then each boy drew a name of the girl who he would be coupled with for the entire Lupercalia festival.
Rome was under the authority of Emperor Claudius the Second, and he was a vicious warrior, not to mention the fact that he was insane. His armies lacked the sufficient number of soldiers it needed, and Claudius could not figure out why more young men didn't want to go to battle. Finally, he determined that the young men didn't want to leave their wives, families and girlfriends. In order to remedy this, the Emperor instituted a new law and canceled all of the marriages and engagements in Rome.
In the mean time, there lived a priest in Rome by the name of Valentine. He did not believe in the Emperor's new law, and he refused to abide by it. He continued to perform wedding ceremonies in secret. He lived in constant fear that he would be caught by Emperor Claudius' soldiers, but he persisted in doing what he knew was right. Finally, the day did come when Bishop Valentine was caught uniting a man and a woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. The soldiers dragged him to stand before Emperor Claudius' throne. The Emperor condemned the Bishop to be put to death for his violation of the law.
While the priest was imprisoned, waiting for his execution, many young couples threw notes of thanks along with flowers and other gifts into the window of his cell. Among these young people who admired the priest for doing the right thing was the prison guard's own daughter. Her father allowed her to visit Bishop Valentine in his cell. During these visits, the two would talk and laugh and share each other's thoughts. Finally, the day arrived when Bishop Valentine was scheduled to die. It was the fourteenth of February in the year of 270 AD. While he was waiting for the soldiers to come and drag him away, Bishop Valentine composed a note to the girl telling her that he loved her. He signed it simply, "From Your Valentine."
Finally, in the year 496 AD, Pope Gelasius did away with the pagan festival of Lupercalia, citing that it was pagan and immoral. He then chose Bishop Valentine as the patron saint of lovers, who would be honored at the new festival on the fourteenth of every February.
Over the years, Valentine's Day has evolved into a holiday when gifts, cards, flowers and candy are given to the ones we love or would like to start a relationship with. And it is all because of a brave, righteous man named Valentine.

My Valentine is.....

2006-02-14T12:47:00.000+08:00

No one has ask me out today. Not that I'm single or what. I maybe attached, but somehow I felt like I'm still single, but never mind, I'm having a date with HIM...Jesus at 7.45pm.

To the ever so busy person: Marry your work cause you have no time for your girlfriend, let alone say your wife. Marry your money cause they just seems so much more important to you. Pack up your bag and go back to States, cause you don't belong here. A New Yorker You call yourself, then pack up and go back where you are the 2nd or 3rd class resident there. It's kinda harsh..but it's true..Sorry...I apologize not because I'm truly sorry, just a way of saying. These may be my angry words, but then I do not regret. You just do not have what's on the list. The essential important 2 points! Yet I cannot find them in you! No matter how patient I am. Cause character do not change overnight. I understand..so I guess I've to let you go, if there's still no explanation from you. I will wanna get out when I have not yet fallen so deeply into the pit. Just move on with your life, and I hope someone else will be able to share with you whatsoever that you have once said or promised. That I don't deserve, no one too in the first place. But I will let go, cause I don't see the endings. For I only see the present, yet it seems so vague. Who will think about the end? When there's not even a present?

So that's how I spent my day, Valentine's day, today.... blogging....

Will You Believe a Liar again?

2006-02-14T12:14:00.000+08:00

Why people tell lies? Why are like white lies and kind-hearted lies? Why are there bad lies to hurt people? Why are these people doing these? What do they gain? Lie about your wealth? Lie about your family? Lie about yourself? What for? To impress? But Why? There's so many Why's in each individual life and some are left unanswered because they are not meant to be known. So Why again? Chicken first or egg first?? No one knows. Have to ask HIM. Scientifically cannot be explained, nor will HE answer? It's not in the bible as well. Ok back to the lier. I know most individual will lie to get past things, but shouldn't they be thinking that what will the other party feel when he/she finds out. In the real life, all people lie, including me, cause I'm not a saint. But my lies don't harm people, just innocent lies to get things done that's all. That I can search my conscience.

But what makes someone lying to you about them? Why are they doing that? My friend ask me why am I chasing after the wind? So there's no answer to that? Following God's way will only be good not bad, but still You are given a choice of A and B to pick the way to the goodness. So the choice is still up to us. Having Faith in him is hard, somehow I felt like I'm struggling. It's seems to me so many things have happened to me last week, but thinking about it, besides me, what other things are happening around the world at the same time when all these things were happening to me?

But most people will think of their problem first rather then think about the world right? Who in the right mind will think otherwise? Is thinking too much no good? Bad for health? Then what are the brains for? If I can don't think anymore? Listening to GOD and waiting for his Que just don't help, cause HE wants us to learn and move on and experience the different types of senerios in life. That's how one grows. Either in a faster pace or slow.

Would You give the person a second chance if he explain? For me last time, I won't take explanation for whatsoever. But now I'm giving this party a second chance and yet his not responding. Another friend say a girl should sometime make the first move, well i guess I have, but now It's all up to him to just explain to me what it going on. I find that I am quite patient already compared to last time. Whereby I'm so stubborn, still am now, but what...so? Guess we are not meant to be. Another challenge from GOD? There is just no simple way out. For he is ever so busy, and I'm out of town most of the time. But doesn't TRUST comes into the picture? Why be so uptight when I ask only about a picture? And..the reaction is so.....and giving me names. What do YOU have to hide, that You can't share? It takes 2 party to communicate, not just me alone telling all about me and the other party just shooed away my question when I ask. This isn't fair YOU know, but..whatever...My attitude now is all whatever. Fine. Like Nobita says I'm a tasty cake, sure people will wanna Queue up and buy or even stop to look, or even not craving for cakes, will still take me home.

My belatedlatedlatedlated birthday bash with ChArlyn and ChArles~

2006-01-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today, once again I've celebrated my birthday once again although it has passed 4 days ago. And there will be another one with jasmine on 21st when i get back. I'm feeling so blessed because I get to blow the candles 3 times. Once with Yuen, 2nd time with Stella and Nora, (both on the same day of my birthday) and the 3rd time with Charlyn and Charles. Will I be blowing it a 4th time? I have no idea. It really made up of the lost of the past 2years, which I totally do not have memories of how i had spent my birthday. I really can remember! I don't know why! It was really a great feeling of blowing the candles on my birthday cake(a slice to be precise, but it's more then enough) 3times..haha...it's amazing!

Ok so Charlyn and Charles said they would give me surprise today, indeed I had my surprise, they brought me my favourite tulip, a pink tulip...it's so so beautiful! And then a necklace with butterflies...(how should i describe? can see from the picture then.~) Isn't it arty? Woooo~Qoo~
We had dinner at Baker's Inn and I find that the standard had dropped and Charlyn told me that the owner was changed, that's the problem. No wonder... And after that, was some photo taking infront of merlion.. and that was the end of the night.

An Earnest Appeal For Guidance and Deliverance-PSALM 143

2006-01-09T00:56:00.000+08:00

HEAR my prayer, O LORD,
Give ear to my supplications!
In your faithfulness answer me, And in Your righteousness.
Do not enter into judgement with Your servant, For in Your sight no one living is righteous.
For the enemy has persecuted my soul; He has crushed my life to the ground; He has made me dwell in darkness, Like those who have long been dead.
Therefor my spirit is overwhelmed within me; My heart within me is distressed.
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands.
I spread out my hands to You; My soul longs for You like a thirsty land.

Answer me sppedily, O LORD; My spirit fails! Do not hide Your face from me, Lest I be like those who go down into the pit.
Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.
Deliver me, O LORD, from my enemies; In You I take shelter.
Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your spirit is good, Lead me in the land of uprightness.
Revive me, O LORD, for Your name's sake!
For Your righteousness' sake bring my soul out of trouble.
In Your mercy cut off my ememies, And destroy all those who afflict my soul; For I am Your servant.

Christmas has passed

2005-12-26T21:46:00.000+08:00

Hiyah...another day has passed and a new year is approaching. And I'm a year older as well, I have already received my birthday present from my Da jie. A $50 takashimaya voucher. Hm... what should I get for myself? Shower gel??Haha... Hm... can't believe that a new year is approaching. Mine, and I'd be working for 5years. I really can't imagine myself working for this company for that long, and I do not know my fate after that. For The LORD will provide and I will trust in HIM to provide me with the best!! He has blessed me so so much in this 4 years, and more will come and overflowing. Amen!

Hm...I do not know why I am getting headaches this few days... I had my 2 weeks break and I'm going back to work soon. At one point, I do miss work, but thinking that I need to work, makes me feels lazy again. But when I received my credit card bill, all the more I needed to go back to work. I do want to give my mum more allowance, cos chinese new year is coming also. Hm... I will get thru de.

Hm...now I have no idea shall I celebrate my birthday anot? Cos it will be just another day for most people, and I have no idea who to ask to my birthday. Will they be free to attend? Hm...or maybe I should just ask NOra and Stella for high tea instead. I have no idea at the moment. Thinking back, I do have a memorable birthday by the river this year. And it will be sweet if I can...erm...(God will know.)

My overall christmas!!!

2005-12-26T00:16:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Have all of you had a fun and blessed Christmas? Well, I did!!! With the love from Jesus, I sure did! This morning I attended church at Kallang Indoor Stadium, gosh..the Queue was never ending. At first it was raining heavily and Stella said that she may not be joining me, but I told her no matter what, I'd there. Well, in the end, we did made it! Listening to Pastor Prince preach and the singers and band and the choir singing, made me and Stella felt that we were at a concert. The feeling was great! And I received my most wanted CD from Yuen and compliments from him too...keke....(happy). Then church ended around 1plus and I'm off to my Er Jie's house for christmas lunch. Boy..was my brother-in-law's fruit punch good. Although the color may seems abit yucky, but it tastes nice, and I had 3 glasses..yum... And after all those food, made me abit sleepy, cos I was up at 8.30am to attend church, of cos I'm tired. So I took a 1 1/2 nap and then there were messages and phone calls, but Ignored them all, cos I'm too tired. I'm sorry people, princess just needed her princess nap.

After I woke up, there's another round of gathering waiting for me, my primary school's mate gathering, a rather last minute one, but I managed to be there.I brought over my sis's speciality, "sherpard's pie"and my classmates finished it all. I guess I made the right choice, cos I get to meet my long lost friend xiangyi and Peishan. They all looked the same, but just that we have all grown up! And ACK seems to grow rather big in terms of size wise, must be leading a good and stressless life. Haha... It was nice catching up with them, and can't believe it that Jiali is getting married, god(.............?) He will Provide, I have faith in Him. And more surprises to come, Alfred said that he got something small to pass to me...hm...what could it be? Got to wait till 27th then. And when I got home, I opened up all my presents from my sisters, and I got shower gels and more shower gels from mark and spencer, what I wanted...Qoo~! I can save on shower gel for quite sometime.

In conclusion, I really had a blessed and meaningful and wonderous christmas this year. Making the choice to take leave for christmas is the right choice. And I had all the presents I wanted, and not one will be recycled...haha...THank you Jesus...for all the blessings... Merry CHRISTmas...Amen!!!

Tell me what did you get for your christmas.

2005-12-25T02:31:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas every one.... I've jus got home and finally get to unwrapped my presents. Although there's still 2 more from my Da Jie and Er Jie which I have not received yet, but it's ok, cos they are waiting for me 2molow. Well...what did I get from Chris? She and her sis bought me a straw like bag, kinda arty type with perth, australia print. I guess it's from Australia.
Have a Blessed Christmas!!!!

Extremely Happy meal

2005-12-20T18:05:00.000+08:00

There's only Happy meal in MacDonalds, how would I have an extremely meal? Well...I did..in Perth Hungry Jacks..or we call it Burger King here. Ok what happen was that I ordered a grilled chicken burger meal, a set and the boy who served me is a trainee..(he looked really young, maybe 15?) Ah...watever. My total is $6.65. I gave him a $20, and somehow I managed to find my exact coins and when I pass to him, he said he already entered $20 and my change would be $13.35. And at that moment I have shoved the coins to him, and Chris saw what happened and also commented that why can't he just give me back $14? Ya...precisely..stoopid ppl. Kao.... Ok never mind, so I took back my coins and he started giving me $15 change back, (pls note that the $5 note is below the $10 note) I hold out the change and gave him a blur look, maybe abit angry la, cos I was not happy at first why can't he accept the coins. And I think he too nervous la huh, den he gave me another $3.35 cos he thought he only gave me $10. Ok fine lor, I KEEP. Since he give, I also don't bother to think too much la. So in the end, I had a grilled chicken set meal for less than $2... Will U call that an extremely happy meal? I agree that is!!!!

The train man

2005-11-11T18:10:00.000+08:00

I jus watched this movie called the train man on JAL inflight movie.
It is stated A TRUE LOVE STORY. Watched it 3 times continuously, because the stupid system do not have the fast forward or pause button. So the 1st time i watched it from the middle part till ending, then 2nd time almost the end, and trying so hard to stay awake to watch the beginning for the 3rd time. This Japanese movie comes with english sub titles. So It's not so difficult to understand, just for some parts whereby they cut short the english sub titles, a plus point for somemore who knows a little japanese....hehe... So It's like, when the actors or actress are still shouting, the english version only got 1 word! Hahaha...or was it that what the japs are talking, eventually can only be explained in 1 word? In another word, they are talking redundantly? Hm.... As usual...beating around the bush...ahhhh..japanese culture~

A TRUE LOVE STORY

This story is about a 22yr old young computer engineer. He would wander in his nerdy gear in Akihabara(someplace like SIMLIM SQ). He was a nerd. Dressed like a nerd. Looks like a nerd. Ok, someone whom you will not strike a conversation with. If it rings a bell, back in poly days, try to remember Mr Bean... Somebody like him la, just that this computer engineer looks so much much better than Mr Bean. Toys and figuries were his passion.

Alright...so in this movie, they call him "Densha kun" meaning Mr Train man.

As usual, he was going home by densha aka train. And on this faithful day, he will be meeting the love of his life.

He was seated at a corner, and head bowing down as usual(wonder if all nerds do that?) At this moment, a girl was rushing for the train, but the train door shut. But then, it opened again and she boarded the train and seated at the opposite seats. Suddenly, there is this drunkerd,(did I spell it right?) Well, a stupid drunk la, common sight in Japan. Sometimes you can see them lying all around the stairways, the platform, they just sleep anywhere!! Blessed that I have not encounter, and I will not encounter such things...for I am blessed by Jesus!!!

Ok, back to my story, so there was this drunk late 40s man, he was verbally harassing the commuters. Firstly, 2 aunties, then he started banging people's head, and smashing someone's laptop, shouting like a mad man. Then he came close to the girl(named Hermes, you will know why in the later part.) She was reading a book, and the man snatched it away and started harassing her. In japan, it's rather shocking to experience that as well as in states, if it was me, I will stand up for myself! For when the man was doing that, everyone onboard just kept to themselves and minded their own business, sorry for me, I'd stand up for that person!! I will not sit back and not do anything. The offenders needed to be taught a lesson! I'm not trying to be a hero or rather a kaypo, but I just feels that we have to help one another.

Ok..ok..back to story... The drunk guy harassing Hermes, and "Densha kun" could not see it no more, and decided to stand up for her. He mumbled stop it. Knowing that it was not heard, he raised his voice a little, and louder and the drunk man shouted at him and pushed him. He askedif he wanted a fight. Lucky it ended fast cause the policemen got in the train just it time, if not that's the end of "densha kun". Why? Cause I think nerds can't fight, they don't fight violently, cause they are scared. It's always like this in shows, or movies, unless maybe they change their image, they might fight more like a man?

So after the incident, they ("densha kun", hermes, and the 2 aunties) were asked to take their statements. And the 2 aunties(really cannot make it) asked densha for his address or contact so they can send him something. Hermes did so too.

When Densha went back home, he logged online and told his online friends his encounter.

His story continues.....

The next day back home, he was surprised to find a gift on his bed. He opened it and found that it was a tea cup set. He told his online friends again. One girl asked him what brand was the tea set, he checked and it was HERMES. The girl told him, it was a very expensive gift, and unless the recipent is someone special, if not the sender will not send something so expensive. Another told him, to check for the sender's mobile number on the mailing paper. He did and found, his friend told him to call her to say thanks and asked her out for a dinner. He was all nervous...haha..butterflies in the stomach. He pushed the buttons and it was said that the other party could not be reached. He tried again and it went through. The first word and almost many words he used was 'Sumimasen' meaning I'm sorry....for almost most and nothing. Hermes agreed to meet him up for dinner.

Then his friends started giving him advice again. Firstly, he had to ditched his nerdy clothings. Get a jacket, long sleeve shirt, a pair of jeans and pointed shoes, or presentable one. Next, ditch the specs, go for contacts. Then a hair cut, not in barbershop but at least a top notched hair saloon. He did all that and he was transformed. Truly... appearences make a great difference. He looked really smart, neat and good! You could say, he was a young handsome chap. His friend also give him advice that if he did not know the restaurent, he should check it out first. He did, took pictures and all. By the time, he did all that... he was almost broke.

So they met. Had dinner. Chatted and that's it. Ok, about Hermes.. she was a.. i guess la, cause it was not stated in the movie. She was a early 30s high class OL. Speaks english and do have overseas trip. Or was she a secetary? Ah...whatever!

The scene showed that they are on their way to take the train home. 'Densha kun' was as usual nervous and was walking fast and the soft Hermes was trying hard to follow behind. He almost lost her in the crowd when a bunch of people passed them. And he thought he lost Hermes. But at that moment, Hermes grabbed his jacket and told him she got him, and she's not letting go. Sounds so sweet especially in Nihon-go(japanese langage). Before that she did tell him that her appointment was cancelled if not she would not have been able to meet him. That was the 1st outing. When his home, he called her for another date, saying that he will pay this time, but the girl was so so sweet saying she will only agree if they go dutch, she's so thoughtful. When his home, he told his friend about his outing again and they gave him advices.

The 2nd date, she brought a friend, another girlfren. She commented that she was the one who called off the appointment previously, so it was not an appointment with a guy. They went to a Italian restaurent, and came a dish, looks good. Seafood spagetti.With the big shelled prawn. The girlfriend said they will share it. Densha kun had no idea how to eat the prawn, well even me la, have no idea how to unshell it using fork and knife. He same la..not that i'm a nerd ok? I'm chinese, we use hand...taste nicer. (sucking all 5 fingers). He poked and he poked the prawn and it flew, landed on the table not far from his plate. Oops..was that embarassing! Same la, malu la, like you and me? If dropped or what or fly or even to another table, lagi malu!!! Hermes was sweet enough to tell him it's okay, and it's still edible. She shelled it for him and he reached out to take the shell plate instead of the meat plate. Haha...her girlfriend asked Densha kun if he's always like that? "Spaced out" He said sometimes, she asked not everytime meh? Haha...eh....man, blur then say blur la, no need paiseh ok?!

That was the second date.

The 3rd date, Hermes invited him to her place. He brought along his tea set as instructed and she brewed him a nice cuppa. The tea BENIOST, (the only company that is able to use the British royal tea leaves. agar something like that la.) They started talking. He asked where was her parents, she said that they are at their relatives, and won;t be returning soon. Densha kun was shy and nervous..oops.. a man and a girl alone in a room? Come on la..nothing happened!

The 4th date, he tried to impress her showing her a wine and telling her the facts about it when he had memorised it all. Ha...men..trying to impress...

They went to the Supa,"supermarket" he got his stuffs and Hermes asked him where he's taking her? He said it's a secret. A surprise..Oh..I love surprises..eh...who don love surprises? But most of the time I'm too smart for the surprises and it was not so much of a surprise, or sometimes i expect too much, and there was no surprise, of cause I was sad!

He brought her to a rented apartment, one just need to pay the time you spend there. Just a room and kitchen. No beds! He was about to confess to her about his feelings there. But...it didn't turn out right, the staff said that he must have the member's card to enter. He told her he had registered online and maybe the card had not arrived yet. And Japanese la, as usual by the book, no card no enter! He was explaning repeatedly, and the staff said NO. Hermes pulled him away and told him, it's alright, they can eat anywhere, he panicked. Now, he have plan. He tried calling his friend for help, but the area had no network. He started to get nervous again. He told Hermes to wait for him, and off he ran to the nearest internet cafe for help. He typed:"SOS, help me think of another place!" His friend scolded him that he should not leave his date all alone and he should go back to her. He relied on the internet again to look for another place, and at this time, Hermes was once again being harrassed by 3 hooligans. She walked away and tried to look for densha kun and she found him staring at the computer again. Well..girls get wrong impression you know. When his out, he told her he found another place, in Roppongi, abit far, but they could get a cab. Hermes commented that she had to pack for an overseas trip the next day, and she got to go. And she went off.. Poor densha kun...his effort wasted.

So that's why la, must communicate, very important to communicate. When a girl says it's fine with her, it's REALLY alright! MAN...Listen! And do not leave your date all alone!! Think about it and you will know why. Ask...don't keep quiet, don presume!

So that's the end for the 4th date.

He was waiting for Hermes to come back! He made markings on his calender and now he thought to himself, what he needed to do was to look out for a laptop for her, as she had said that they shall look for one together since densha kun had so much knowledge about it.

So his job while awaiting for Hermes to come back was to look for a suitable laptop for her. And on the day when she was back, he called her to surprise her, asked her if he could stop by to meet up with her. She told him she was busy for the moment and would call back later. He wanted to surprise her and he went to her work place to wait for her, carrying his informations on all the laptops he can find. Then, it started to rain. Stupid man, can go take shelter in the building across the road right anot? Rather wait in the rain for her to appear, same ma, cos it's the same office building she working! He was all drenched, and he tried his best to protect the notes...aiyo..movie la!! In real life, got such stupid people anot? But it was sweet la! He saw her, ran in handed her his notes and was so delighted in seeing her. She was shocked or was it surprised? Cause, she didn't expect, that is why it's called a surprise!! At this moment, I think was her boss and an ang mor appeared. The ang mor asked if everything was alright, she said everything was fine. She led him to a corner, and gave him her hanky to wipe dry. Hiyah~ 22yr old boy started crying. Booohooo..... He explained he must have been a nuisance to her, a bother. And right from the start he knows that it will not turn out well. Everything should not have started! They could never get together. Hey man, then why you initiate, from the beginning? Call her out for yet another date? Do so much for her? U no brains ah?

Hermes' heart was almost broken I guess, but as a 30 yr old woman, she of cause is more sensible. She asked him, if the time spent with her was not enjoyable, if he finds her a bother, if her look makes him sick, then he can choose to leave. Hm...woman is smart!

He cried again and left! Went back home, told his friend that he had no courage to confess to her, to tell her that he had good feelings for her. And all that had come out from his mouth were negatives remarks! His friend encouraged him once again to go for it! Cause if he succeed, he will be the 1st nerd to get a girlfriend after 22yrs!! He thought about it and decided he should try. He ran to her place, and found out that she was out looking for a laptop as told by her mum. He ran again to Akihabara to look for her. (He ran...wonder if all this places were near, definately NOT! Well movie la! You know, trying to tell you he tried his best to go for what he wanted, ja ne...I shall shoot one next time called "RUN...go for it!")

Akihabara was huge! He roamed from shops to shops in search of his love. But if it's all planned from above, you will definately find it one! He ran and ran and he fell, dropped his specs and face flat on the floor. At this moment, a girl helped him up, she was Hermes!!! See..God is great! He confessed it all to her. And Hermes too. She said she love him, and after she said that she felt that she loved him even more! She explained that she had feelings for him starting from the rescue on the train, his care for her, grabbing her hands to run when the red man is blinking. (If you watch this movie, these will be the flashbacks.) And the little post-it notes in the PC catalogue, that he explained everything so detailed and easy to understand. It's a whole pile alright! And she find them all so sweet, cause she had never had a boyfriend before too! And they kissed, fireworks started. Japanese movies are the same as Korean movies, comical and exergerated. So they were togther.

At the ending, it showed that they are taking the train again, and she dropped her ticket pass, he picked it up for her, a red one. And then it showed that in the past, when he was still he's nerdy self. A small school girl was leaning on his shoulders fast asleep. He felt awkward, but didn't dare to wake her up. He found a red ticket pass on the floor, and tried picking it up and threw it on the school girl's lap, and he hurried to alight. The little girl woke up and looked puzzled, she then returned the pass to the lady seated next to her. Guess what? She's Hermes...

So in actual fact, everything was planned! Right from the beginning!

And his internet friends......

There was this, who forbade to come out of his room, and would only locked himself up in his room to chat online and eat in his room,finally after this true story...stepped out, of his room! And outside. He got on the bus for the first time after don't no how many years. A girl sat beside him...(smile)

The 3 guys group, they dumped their ugly unmatched clothings and changed into the jacket, shirt combination, and they look smart!

I do have a friend known in primary school, and he have changed so much now. Attire do make a difference. He used to wear really thick specs that you can kill the ants under sunlight, and there will be rubber band tied onto it, maybe it broke or something. Now, he looks dashing! People change for the better. I think all should! I did too. For God blessed me with such a wonderful job, that he allows me to see so many things, the wisdom he gave. All the blessings he gave, I thank you Lord, Jesus...Thank you.~ Hallelujah!

Our own halloween celebration!

2005-11-11T14:34:00.000+08:00

On 7th nov, I went to Chris place for a special purpose. Talking about it made me so excited!! Not only that I went to her house for dinner, but the main motive was...it was so sweet!! She waited for me to come back, to crave pumpkin together! And we had our belated Halloween party. Well, there wasn't any ghastly attire or what sort, I jus went with my jeans and my fav piggy T-shirt! Let's take a look at the master piece.....

2 craveswomen at work~

Presenting.... ~Qoochan annnnd.....

Big Fat Cookie...without the monster...haha!!!

This is how it looks like when lited up...Qoo~

Finally back home

2005-10-26T23:36:00.000+08:00

Wah...finally home...ah...miss my GInger baby. Miss my bed, miss my pillows and miss my blankets. 3 nights in Japan seems so long!! But hoh, the hotel room in Haneda Airport T2 is nice~Very new...(airport hotel only 1yr old), very zen, somemore tv is sharp flat screen...Cool~!

Went ditching, as usual It's me kana once again this year in the mock up. Prayed so HARD to GOD asking him to not let me kana at all, but ok la, got the easy ones...not the too stress one. Who call my employee number is the most junior..est..although I'm not the most junior. But blessed that I passed the written test la, so not so bad la!!! Well...the mock up is indeed fun, and maybe also it's my last year going for the mock up..haha... hm....will maybe kinda miss it a little though. But God will plan! Just attended the MMeeting also, feels very sian to listen to so many of the fat boss..say this and that. FAt Ass...!!! Your ideas are all so stupid!!! Returnto your hometown and STOP giving us HELL!! But, I'd in heaven, cause I'm with Jesus! I'm on his side!

On my rest day, I went to Asakusa to take some pics, I was there 4 years ago, during my training time with my class-gals, miss it also.

Bought quite alot of things, also found the hankies that Isaac once shown me!! It's really beautiful and at reasonable price! Bought 11of them, haha!! Will I be given the shopping queen title? HAha...~ Bought a magnet as well..it's the fortune cat, a black one! It was cute.
Next it was food! I had tempura with hot soup Udon set! Take a look? Yum~

Then we went to Ueno, bought a pack of dried scallops and cuttler fish for my mama. After that nothing much! Off we are, back to the hotel to prepare for the next day's mock up training. Imagine...this once a year training is our license to fly for a year...interesting huh?! I do find it interesting! Well although I do complain alot about being the only one chosen for the drill and the rest of my colleagues can sit back and relax. But participating is kinda fun also, cos you get to experiance, you know, like what happen and what you do? If an incident should happen. I'm kinda enjoying it this year, for I know how GOD has loved me so much to put me into participation. Haha... Well now I'm back, Oxygen and Energy level is low...gotta sleep now~

Seems like the screen is getting blur..is it my eyes or what?

Disgusting me

2005-10-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

Forget to update this last night, cos Qoochan was biten by the lazy bug, felt so sleepy.
Hm...something happened yesterday, well things happen every now and then wat?! Ok la, something very malu happened to me la...Haha...as usual with Chris. Let's introduce her again. She's my kindergarden cum primary skool pal. And she live about 8 to 9 blocks away from me. When we stand together we are the number 10. We went to the journey of faith together(previous post). And yesterday we went GV tiong bahru watch movie, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. A very interesting movie! Actually was meeting Yuen for the 40yr old virgin, but Corpse Bride first piority. So Chris and I met up at 12pm at our mrt,off to tiong bahru, den bought the ticks first before proceeding for lunch. What we ate ah? This Japanese RamenTen. Kao~ I've never fancy japanese food although I do travel to Japan quite often. Don give me raw la, cooked ones are okay! Cos cold and chilling cooked food, makes my stomach upset. So sad.... the stomach and me....
Oh the funny part of going to a singapore japanese restaurent is that not only you get your food, you also get entertained. Haha...there were this group of japanese office guys sitting opposite us, and when the servers shouted something, they were giggling and me as well. What the F*%# are they saying? Don't sounds like welcome(Irrashaimase)...and they normally loved to drag the last part...(Irrashaimassssssssseeeeeeee), Yew....irritating.
Ok so I ordered this fried chicken Ramen and a snapple grape, Chris ordered her seafood Ramen and 2 coke lite. The server asked if we still want the snapple since Chris ordered 2 coke lite, hello??? 1 person cannot order 2 drinks huh? What's your problem??? Hehehe...
And guess what? In the restaurent we saw Diana....who? Our primary skool fren also, Isaac's ex, Ber's ex choir mate, and currently The Rock choir member. Being friendly, I walked over while we are prepared to leave, saying,"Hey Diana!" And she replied:"And U are?" And I am? Who? I shouted back my name, and I walked away. Such a rude look followed by and you are? Don't just think that you are model, people remember you ok,(I was before You, when you joined that agency) not as though you are famous or something like that, and people approach you okay? It isn't all that. It's just me, Qoochan being friendly only going over to ren qing qi(recognize a relative?) Hm... I have a song jus for this type of people. I've sang it to Chris, and she found it quite hilerious. And the way she used to bully Ber by sweeping her hair back so hard it hit Ber's face. Eh...Ber...did I tell you before to either put chewing gum on her head, or burn her hair or jus snapped it while she was sleeping. For years since primary school, she has not cut her hair short, cos the most can see part is her hair la. Character wise..well for you people to find out, cos I have many bad comments from other people about her already. She's only friendly to guys, gals? step aside la. Not that I am jealous or anything. I have confident of how I look, she and I belong to 2 different world. I dare to cut my hair real short, trying out different looks, cos I like playing around with my hair, for people who knows me changing my hairstyle every 4-5mths. (Hey I look great on both short and long hair alright? God is great!) Fashion wise? depends on my mood, I have my own co-ordination. For her..hm....sweet gals will always be sweet gals la. hm.....
Ok carry on back to my story.....after lunch and the not so friendly "and U r?" And I AM none of your business la!!! Ok den we went to Umeya buy some sour plums and up to GV for the movie. Chris bought a huge coke lite again, and as we were walking up the steps to the theatre, the blur blur gal who thinks she looks so great standing at the steps to tear our ticks one, stop Chris saying she's not allowed to bring in outside food, cos Chris carrying the bag la, mine in my bag, stupid people aim her. (My bag kinda small, so cannot stuff all of Chris yummys into it.) Ok fine...so? she looked at us, we looked back...silence for 3-4 secs. I opened my mouth, asking her if she could keep it for us then...and she say ya..can! Reaction damn slow... Not as if we will make a scene there right? Lady...next time just ask if you can keep it for us, we are NOT unreasonable people, or uncivilised citizen!!! Kao~!
Went in for the movie which stated that it starts at 13.25. I asked Chris..is it start commercial at 13.25 or 13.25 start movie? It's the 2nd one, so that means they are late!!! What if I have appointment later on and I was late cos the movie started late. Who can I blame?
Movie ended and I craved for fries, so we went to Mac, me had a large fries and Chris medium.
We gossiped abit before I decide to head for home, for I felt so so tired, I guess it's all the food.
But Chris called her mum and aked if she wanted to go to harbourfront, hm...me wanna go too...well even if I went home, I can only sleep for 3 hrs that's it! I will become owl in the night, so I joined them.
Arrived at harbourfront, last time know as World trade centre. Wah...changed alot ah, cannot remember how it looks like last time. Being thirsty, I wanted to buy a bottle of water from Cheers, but a bottle of Ice mountain cost $1.55, I can fairly well buy 2 bottles from my nearby market. Daylight robbery!!! So I suggested why don't we just go Mac again for a free cup of sky juice?(Water la!!!) But I set my eyes on the barley water in Wang jiao kopi shop. The classic comes, for a normal person not being drank to vomit infront of other people's shop. Hehehe...that normal person is ME, QOOCHAN lor!! Wah kao...paiseh sia.... I think I have over ate. 3rd sip of the barley water made me a merlion. Well..what exactly happened was that I was at Baleno, saw a cheap nice top, and just bended over to take a look, and just at this moment, the 3rd sip which I just took, I think somehow the barley sliped past to the throat before I could chew on it. And it triggered the acid to react at the same time and hua la....presenting Miss Merlion. Chris didn't know how to react. I was just bending over and somehow lucky ah, jus white liquid nothing serious yet. No yellow(fries) or brown(fried chicken), but a little red red stuff(I guess it's the garlic chilli sauce from mac). I asked for tissue, Chris said she don't have it, GREAT...I try my best to dig out mine, still in that position. A girl from opposite shop was staring so hard,I could see her eyes popping out soon! HA!! Chris suggested...go toilet go toilet.. lucky I can still talk, but as I talk I started to cough..so better don't talk so much! I didn't run to the toilet cos it might get worse, so I took my time. Hehe...AFter that I was well and alive again. It's the barley's fault!!
After walking for awhile, Chris and her mum(who later arrived) bought what they wanted and we passed by Haach, aiyah...might as well go inside have a massgae and sleep. So I went in to try my luck cos I didn't make any appt. Went in for an hr, came out rather fresh, as commented by Chris and her mum, as they were sitting at the food court chilling out. They dom pang me back and I packeted beef noodles, so small yet so ex. Hm....So that's it la!!! That's my day!! Yesterday~

Pls continue urself

2005-10-12T01:25:00.000+08:00

Ok people this will be how the scroll look like, Pls pay your own eight bucks and go take a look urself if U wanna know more huh! For Miss QooChan only taken pics till drawing number 4, cos dono excited about what la, at that moment! I guess is the stupid touchscreen game. Hahaha.... Remember Chris? But I guess the journey of faith thingy ended on Oct 9th. So I'm not so sure if they might still have this area.

Below are pics showing 2 ah siao having fun drawing....enjoy!!!

Our masterpieces................The ugly ones are Chris!!! Muahahah.

About Buddha, comparing my story which I've watched in JApan to the real text I've seen in journey of faith.

2005-10-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

A baby boy was born about 2600 years ago in Limbini, Nepal, under extraordinary circumstances.Immediately after birth, he walked his first seven steps and said his first words.This baby, destined for greatness, was named Siddhartha Gautama.He grew up as a wealthy prince but remained troubled by the sufferings of his fellow humans.He searched for a long time to find a solution.Eventually, he solved the complex puzzle of how suffering could cease and achieved enlightenment.Siddhartha Gautama became Buddha.Buddhism's birth place is in northen South Asia but today, the only South Asian country to have a majority of Buddhists is Sri Lanka.However, Buddha's teaching has a far greater effect on East Asia--China, Japan and Korea--and several countries in Southeast Asia, where the religion is widespread.

This are the texts found during my visit to the Journey Of Faith museum with my primary cum kindergarden skool fren. Jus compare it with the post I've posted previously, I can say that I understand the show well la....hahaha....

Below are some pics, about the story of Buddha.

Buddha was born over 2600 years ago as Prince Siddhartha Gautama, in a kingdom in Limbini, Nepal. Signs at his birth led people to believe that he would either be a great king or achieve enlightenment one day.

Siddhartha led a sheltered and privileged life. His father, the King, made sure the Prince had the best of everything and did not have to suffer or see others suffering.

One day, Siddhartha left the palace and saw an old man, a sick man and a corpse, all which troubled him. He later met a dignified hermit and was impressed by him. He began to find his privileged life meaningless and decided to leave it behind.

Even though Siddhartha's wife had just given birth to their first son he decided to leave the palace that very night. By being a wandering ascertic, his aim was to find a way to end human suffering.

To be continued.......

Pls either go to the museum urself to see and understand more or just heck care about it or jus read the previous post cos I need to go to bed now. Sorry Chris...I very lazy to type and also cannot insert the stupid pics anymore, at least I figured out!!!

Not able to sleep

2005-10-06T04:34:00.000+08:00

Do you believe in recarnation? Do Christians believe in recarnation? I've just watched this movie on channel BS2 in japan. It's about finding the recarnation of a lama. The scenes are very special, it only shows a color, mostly blue and some red, nothing is wrong with my TV for sure. I have no idea what it means. What does it wanna show? Hm....There is only full color, as in normal colorations at almost till the end of the movie. This movie tells the story of Buddlha. I shall try my chance to watch Passion of Christ! In one scene, Jessie, the little boy ask, if Buddlha is same like Jesus? The adult answered, it is almost the same, but just that Buddlha was way before Jesus.Is this true? I shall find out. This makes me even wanna find out more about Jesus. This is what I've learnt from the movie, how Buddlha came about. A beautiful queen was on her way back to the palace to give birth with her servants and maids. And on her way, she saw many elephants, and she recalled having a dream. She dreamt of a baby elephant blessing her with its tiny trunk. And she felt at peace. She decided to take a rest while enjoying the views of the enchanted forest. As she walked deeper into the forest, the trees that she passes by, bowed down to her.Then suddenly she felt pain and in labour, at this moment, a tree bowed down for her to grip to reduce the pain. And she gave birth to a healthy and BIG baby, with sparkling bright eyes. It was said that the baby talked at that very moment, and as he walked lotus followed behind him. It was a heavenly sight. Back to the palace, people were celebrating the birth of the new born. And great priests and wise men came to give their blessings, and there was this old wise man whom no one had seen for a long long time. Told the King that his baby will be a great teacher when he grows up, but the king insists that his son will be a king, rather than a teacher. He will be a king first, and if he want to know more about teachings, he can learn later .2 weeks later, the queen fell ill and passed away, asking her sister to take care of her baby.Years later, the prince aka the baby grew and everyday he was enjoying himself. This was because, his father the king make sure that he only sees the good things in life, no sufferings or death. One day, he heard a very nice music, he followed it and found this girl singing. It was an unknown language, but he felt it, the soul of the music. He asked what it meant, and his beautiful wife answered him that it's about the beautiful things far beyond. The young prince ask, what there can be more beautiful than the things in his palace? And he decided to venture out of his palace to look for that beautiful places. The King knew about this, and for that he so loved his son, he planned everything that his son shall see. No sufferings, no death, no sickness, only good things, young and healthy people. The prince indeed saw the beautiful people, all beautiful things when he was out of his palace. But then, suddenly he saw two old and dirty man, he asked his follower who they are? And his follower answered that they are the old and poor. The prince asked how could that be? His follower answered that people will grow old, and sick and eventually die. The prince didn't know about all these, as his loving father had hidden all these from him all these years. The prince then decided to leave the palace to find the meaning of life, and to go against death. He told his father that he will be the man to do it. So he left the palace, and exchanged his fine robe with a poor man, and on his way to find the meaning of life.
One day, when he was meditating, and there was this huge cobra who sheltered him from the rain, and the 5 men who was there at that time were amazed and became his followers. He spent 6 years, drinking water of rain, and food from grains. He became dirty and thin. One day, by the river, while he was meditating, he heard a man saying:"Pulling the strings too tight will make it snap, let it loose and it will be fine." On hearing this, he walked to the river and dived in. He began washing himself. A young village girl offered her bowl of rice to him, and for the first time in 6 years, he had proper food. His 5 follwers were disappointed when they saw that their leader was bathing and eating fine food, they decided to leave him, because they think that that is not the way.
The next scene shows the prince meditating again below this tree, and suddenly there were these 5 beautiful ladies started walking towards him. They were actually demons disguised as beautiful woman to tempt the prince. 5 different types of temtations. (Can't remember any of them.) The prince was not tempted at all, and the demon was furious. Soon...there were huge storms, and huge waves before the prince. And there were soliders pointing their firey arrows at the prince, and they fired. But before the firey arrows could hit the prince, they become flower petals. And it rained colorful petals. The prince was still in meditating position when all these happened. The demon seem to lose the battle, but he did not give up. He appeared as a spliting image of the prince. And told him that he is in him. The prince said that the earth will be his witness that he is him. At this moment, the demon was destoryed after the prince said those words, pointing his fingers down to the ground. Then there were yellow circled lights and that's how Buddlha came about. Woo...a very long story. I am typing this in Japan finishing at 4.30am.Very interesting movie, had no chance to find out the title, but the prince was starred by Keano Reeves. Didn't know it was him till the ending part. Am so tired now, will get back to bed. Hm...one more night to go, sian~ where shall I go later? Hm...will try visit Terminal 1, abit bo liao la, but I swa gu ma.!

Me in new York

2005-10-02T08:11:00.000+08:00

Hiyah...alone in New york, nobody to go out with, cos the other gal I'm flying with jus came to new york last week...Poor me, havn't been here since...2months ago, was last here with Ber to Statue of Liberty. ( Cos last month was grass eating season.) It's turning cold here. I am now here next to the AC, cos com cannot work last 6 hours ago, due to no network. And now...I placed it at the window side, next to the AC, soooo cold...but must online, cos I've brought the damn so heavy and bulky laptop all the way from singapore? Finally got connected, didn't get to chat with Ber, I believe she's online just now. So alone here...so cold....so...so...so...not hungry la, at least I packed some food here...well...erm...jus chocolate crossiants form japan and some sort of muffins turning hard soon, from my beloved Da Jie! Also a hearty dinner jus now shrimp mai fan as uaual and fried chicken wings~ Haahaa...
Finally got online, and nobody chat with me~ m.......well have la, as usual Piggy. I wonder where have all the rest gone to. It's 7.50am here, staring out of my window, i see that people have started work here at around 7.20am from the office view jus next to my window view. Haa!!! Ang MOr not so lazy afterall.
It's gonna be a bright and sunny day today, hope it's not too cold. How I wish there is someone here to bring me out. Such a waste to stay in the room. Gotta go shopping later, die die must get out of room....!!!! Also am listening to the CD which I've just bought, He GAVE, nice.
Hm...It's just me in the room, alone, well not so alone, since I have my bible and books and pastor prince CDs, and all the lovely songs. I CAN survive the day. Of cos with GOD by my side always....~ Actually it's nice sitting here alone, with my laptop and music. Looking up in the sky, watching the birds fly. Staring blankly, deep in thoughts or wondering in dreamland. Peeping at what the people opposite are doing. Jus in my own world with JESUS. It's so so sweet... so peaceful. So serene.
yup..gonna have some chocolate crossiants..and my muffin..take a rest..and shopping here I come!!!

Packed work finally starts

2005-09-30T18:59:00.000+08:00

Finally going to go away for a long week... 7days it is. This time to new york city. Although not flying with Ber, but I'm all well packed with my bible, notebook, notes and CDs, and most importantly my laptop. Can't wait to be away..away from home, away... I look forward to work and coming back to attend Evelyn's wedding dinner. So cool...gotta wear my pink lace dress. Actually bought this dress for a special reason, but..it doesn't matters anymore. Shall look ahead and move on...I am...moving on. Ok gotta eat dinner... Miss Ya Ber ber..

Jesus my Lord my Life

2005-09-30T01:35:00.000+08:00

Jus came back from church. Bought this CD sang by the church...all my fav songs..well not all la, some...One of them is Jesus my Lord my life.

You take my hand

And lead me to Your side

Your warm embrace

Sets my heart on fire

You are my shelter

God of all wonders

You are the hero of my life

I live for You

The saviour of my life

Your love for me

Is wider than the skies

You are my shelter

God of all wonders

You are the hero of my life

You came for me

Your life for mine

When I couldn't save myself

You bore my pain

My sin my shame

Jesus my Lord my life

This is one of my favourite...also there is I'm held by your love by Adeline, but in this CD it's sung by Sean Goh. A Very lovely song.

Jus cried over nothing! I have no idea what's wrong with me...so people..I know u care, Jus STOP asking me, for I, myself have no idea at all too? Or am I jus running away from it all. I know it, but just that I'm not facing it? I expect overly too much from nobody and myself? What's my problem? I do not know how to express it out, just STOP asking me. Just STOP, cos I don't have an answer myself.

Listening to the CD now...perspiring as well..been like this the whole day, I ask for it. I ask to be sick and it happens, curse by my own mouth. Haha... Speaking is the only work to express faith. Keep on speaking faith. Believe in the heart and speak in the mouth. Of cos and the world is naturally negative, jus like me in the world, so negative. I'm crawling out of the world, to be in heaven on the throne with Jesus. Or should I say I have already crawled out, and He is with me always cos He does not fail, his promise will definately be a promise. He will not lie. He's always there... He lifts me up. He's my saviour, my Lord, my God....My Jesus Christ.

He has blessed me with so many frens... can I use the word many? Well here and there, about more than 5? The more than 5 are the ones whose always there for me. "The many frens" are really many, for all the new people that I meet during my work, or jus people from the net, or fren's fren. I am not alone, but why do I feel so alone sometimes? That's between me and God. Loved flying with Ber, cos so that we ccan talked all day about Jesus, learning more about Him. I used to give advice to people about things, about life? But now, I, myself needed the counselling. I may seems strong to some, why do they look upon me? I don't find myself strong at all... I'm just me...me...and me...not weak but also not so fragile. Just STOP labelling me as strong. I'm just me. Just a plain simple me. God loves me for who I am, and I do not have to care what other jealous people are talking about behind my back. I'm feeling much better now. Thanks pal..for accompanying me! Thank you Jesus... And we all say....AMEN!!!

eating grass season

2005-09-29T16:15:00.000+08:00

Something is wrong with my blog...wat the heck...hm.... I proudly announce that it's the Grass eating season for me this month. Haha... Jus came back from the stupid 4day KL pattern again..yes once again. But all will be well next month when I have 3 states flight and flying with Ber to NY on oct 31st..Halloween... hope it's gonna be happening. Can't wait!!! Can't wait to go to work, after coming back will be attending Evelyn's wedding...can't wait too. Saw a dress at mango jus now, so nice, so sweet...so expensive. Got to think about it. Hm... I'm feeling sick, Kao..going to NY already, and feeling sick now, cannot...cannot must drink liang teh...to recuperate.

God pls help me on this.

2005-09-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so lost right now. Got to think about my future. What will my future look like? I leave it all to God, and yet there are people who ask me what I want?!! I really have no idea what I want. Am I considered a loser then? Not knowing what I want. My works are already been decided, I just follow. That's just me. Even Bid decided for me to get the job which I'm doing now. And it's coming to and end, and I've no idea what I want till now. Patrick did ask me a few months back, I thought of getting a degree...but that concerns money. I have my old parents to feed, so I have no idea what I will be earning when my contract ends next year! God am I thinking too much? I just wanna lead a carefree life. No worries, 'cos GOD has already paved the way. I don't wanna think about money, about love, about not getting married when I hit 30. Gosh...I still have a long way to reach. I just wanna enjoy what I have right now. Anything wrong with that? That I don upgrade myself? My work is just a job which don't requires brain power? Is this true? I ask myself. Does that include the 'chao geng' part? Also, if anything is to happen and we need to evacuate the passengers within seconds? The knowledge that we need to have to save people's life? Is it fair MAN? The way that you are judging me? God I just wanna leave it all to you, and signal me to walk your path. That's all I ever wanted. I do have my dreams, but dreams la, still it concerns money. If I'm not born in this family, and if I have rich parents? I think I will get what I always wanted. I could pursue my dreams? Self help is so limited. I do not have the strength to do it? Or am I just plain lazy to do it. I need to ask myself. GOD I just need your help. Amen!

Fed up

2005-09-19T13:07:00.000+08:00

Was already quite fed up with the stupid company and here I am, jus came back from my stupid 4 days pattern. Very Tired and very very fed up(dono what other words that I can use beside fed up.) Sometimes I think why we work so hard for the company who doesn't even give shit to us employees. They jus virtually treat us like bangala. Too bad if U r working for Jap company...U'd never have promotion, only can work for a max of 15 yrs, and also not confirmed that you will get ur contract if u have good profile. Is this jus life? They keep promoting that one should get the grade S for higher chances of getting the contract, but hello??? Only higher chance ok? NOt CONFIRM chance. Crap japanese. That's how much I HATE them. BUt I also muct admit that there are very nice ones, who treated me real good. And I do enjoy my flight last nite, cos my in-charge keep praising my work, which makes me very pai seh.

THere are good and bad in general. BUt even I do know, but how come I cannot get over it? I felt so mad when I checked that my flight was dropped and they slot in a stupid 4 days pattern for me again. Thinking that I have to eat grass next month, really irks me. What's their problem? Huh? What is going on? Fair? Do u think this is fair? Or there's nothing fair in this world? PAstor Prince once mentioned, "do not take small things to heart. Let there be no trouble in ur heart." BUt hey..thinking I will eat grass next month, no joke ok? And my credit card bill jus came, jus 1 card for the time being, approximatly $600 plus? Kao...see la, how am I gonna survive? Jus only 1 for the time being, the 2nd one not here yet.

Hey, don think that we flight attendents earn alot ok?! Our pay depends alot on our flying allowances. (Most ppl think we do and also a new fren whom I've jus met.) If every month I'm given this kind of crap flight.... I've tot before, I will wan to burn the office down. Trap them all in the lift, hit the head of the fat one with a heavy ash tray. Hit until he pass out...Hahaha.... These are jus some tots I have, during last time when there are so much unfairness. And ppl jus say say only, keep complaining and no work is done. I do not respect U! Yes! Maybe U do have families to support, and u jus wanna give ideas but not take the responsibility to speak up. Who the hell, nowadays have the courage to speak up for someone? Even if U do, the one whom U r speaking up for might take U for granted and won't even appreciate it at all. Why go all the trouble? Y? Wei shen mo?

So final words in conclusion, what the company gives U, go...go and make full use of it. Dental...go and and use it, don't wait and wait till it's ur final year in this company den U using their so call "privillages". Company docs... ya...go..take all the medicine U need, for ur parents, for ur frens and all the shower gel, cream...etc...ya?! Free tickets...not so free la, must pay a small sum...y not? Go...go apply for urself and ur parents, don't let tge company take advantage of us anymore. U work for bloody 5 years, what do u get? Well..they is the gradtuti(aiyah..dono how to spell la) Looks big, but if u divided into 5 years, pertatic. And what else? Ya...U didn't take sick leave for 3 years...U get a crap paper. Saying..thank u so much for ur utmost effort in your work...blah..blah..blah.... and so on..... Crap la!!!! If U can... don keep taking away our flights la! Stupid company!!!!!!!!!!

CirQue Du Soleil-QuiDAM

2005-09-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

Wah...jus got back from flt..saigon 2 nites, went shopping with Irene and bought 2 bags that I lovvvved so much. And many other things as well. Today went church, 2nd svc with Stella,but before that met Ber BEr and hajimete met auntie Doreen, (Ber's mummy) for breakfast...Todays preaching very interesting topic, on life and dreams...hehe...to know more, pls buy the CD urself. Guest preacher Pastor Gary from hillsong.
My main point for this blog today is I Went to watch the QuiDam...wah...damn good man.... worth the price I paying for $98. Spetacular, breathe taking... VERY GOOOOOOOOD AH!! Although sitting not centre but side, but already 3 rows from the stage. CAnnot complain la, sing kar po hoh, vely small de ma. HAha...If in the 1st place, I know the stage so small can buy the back rows centre seats liao lor! I highly recommand. I bought the sound track too. although abit ex la huh, $35. But buy and keep souvenior lor. Feel like watching it again...dono who will bless le? Hehe...

Ur fav transport?

2005-09-03T18:37:00.000+08:00

I was jus wondering, which public transport do U like? For me... I like riding on the bus. Not only can see scenery somemore cheap and sure got seats to sit. But not for long journey la, will feel nausea. The transport I hate most is the MRT. When I was in primary skool, still can remember what Mr LOW ask...what does MRT stands for during our session before singing the national athem. And my smart aleck indian classmate raised his hand, (I think he is SIVA LINGAM, had a twin bro.) He walked upfront and very confidently answered..."MR RICHARD TAN". Those were that days....

Y i hated the MRT? Cos during poly times, the only transport from my hse to my poly is the MRT. All the way to yio chu kang... LOng and far ride. And can see la, from my hse must change at raffles place, and u knoe la, morning with all those kiasu aunties and uncles and office workers rushing to work. Normally u can really see the scene whereby ur face is pasted onto the doors. HAha...jus imagine for a moment. And there's some ppl who r jus not so considerate in moving in..I mean IN and letting more ppl to get onboard. Also standing by the doors or guarding the doors when their stop are still very far away. And leaving poor ppl...ahem...for example like me, being considerate and walked out so that the ppl behind me could get out, and later realise that there is no more room for me back there, and therefore I'm late for my lecture. Before then, u can never see the 2 YELLOW lines... wat r they for? U may wonder? To teach singaporeans to keep to the side so that passengers can alight first before they move in like marching ants. And also the signs along escalator telling ppl to keep to the left. Posters telling ppl to be considerate and be courteous only during the courteousy month... wat a laugh.! There's more to complain about the MRT and that's how much I hated it...but this acticle will be long.

Was out with Ber last nite... and I really must conclude myself as a lor soh person..alamak....so young and yet becoming auntie so soon. I'm sorry I'm so qiong he(chang qi). That's jus me lor....Ber agrees. Sometimes I jus talk too much la.... Cannot help it...Genes....

OK..ok...I jus remembered, there's 1 time long long time ago at Orchard mrt. The scene of kiasu auntie who try to enter the met when not all PAX have alighted and met her match of this uncle who try to come out. And.....auntie lost...auntie was somehow being pushed and fell to the floor...LOL...I was there I saw it...BElly good ah...haha....auntie OR BI good. HAhaha.... And the victory goes to uncle who was very gentleman enuff to offer to help her up. BUt U see la, auntie lose face already and of cos very angry and rejected lor..All happens in split secs... So is there a lesson learnt? I don't think so... There's still more stories,but I jus state examples to cut short. YES I have lost my temper far too many times when taking the MRT. Had shouted at a woman who can't make up her mind on where to sit, gave lots of stares to ppl who keep pushing while I try to get out. The woman who can't make up her mind is classical. Blame it on my PMS,but isn't it too early for one?

Finally got my own bible...Precious moments

2005-08-31T17:29:00.000+08:00

U will have no idea what has happened to me today... haha.... I woke up early at 10am for yoga class. Took bus there, was early so went Isetan see see look look... saw a watch..priced at $159. Still thinking to get it anot la, or should I save up for my pasha? Then off to class and met up with this OCBC guy for my cpf statement at 2pm. Was at cpf building tanjong pagar and reset my singpass cos keyed in the max tries. Then nothing special. So... since I was in tanjong pagar, might as well settle my things around that area. So I stopped by in MILAN. Talked to this lady named Wendy for quite awhile, and she's the designer. She mentioned she teaches clothing makings. And I've just been asked by FAt last nite, why I like fashion designing, and I told her I'm interested in the makings. And It's like so coincidence that she said all that and even told me something about religion and the tragidy that happened to her family members. An accident, her sis and mother were taken away. Sad.....

After talking to her, she gave me her mobile to keep in contact. I was glad. And was thinking of going home, and walked pass a shop. And I was looking for my precious moments bible for a long time, so I thought I may try my luck there. Walked in and then realised that it's a biblical library, called BGST library. A very helpful LeePin even showed me around. The full address is 31 Tanjong Pagar Road #01-01. Or u can visit the website at http://www.bgst.edu.sg/lib
Opening Hours Mon-Fri 9am-10pm, Sat 9am-6pm, closed on sunday and public holidays.

Opened to public and if interested can sign up for member for $100 refundable deposit and $50 annual fee, if U want to borrow the books home. If not can just drop by there and read the books instead. Very interesting. And the very helpful LeePin even gave me some helpful advice in looking for my bible. And she even gave me directions to get there. At Amara Hotel shopping centre. ALL in tanjong pagar area. So I set off to Jona Christian Book Room and finally found my beloved Precious Moment bible...the pink one. Also bought the latest hillsong "GOD HE REIGNS" Will listen to that later. And 2 tiny books of bible promises and prayers. Will pass 1 to Ber. Hehe... So happy that I got mt bible. Can remember I used to flip thru the cute cartoon pages. Well then that's the old one from BID. NOW...THIS is the new one I got myself and I will treasure it. Keep telling ppl I lost my bible, such a shame, not lost it in church but somewhere at home? Where? I have no idea too. But I'm jus as happy that I have got it myself. My OWN! It's not the ending of my day yet. Hm...abit lor soh la, but I LIKE IT! HAha... THen bought a MOcha Spin at Spinell( this san fransico coffee shop I guess..) $6...ex like shit. Taste so sweet somemore. Ok...that's not the case, then I was deciding to whether take bus back home or cab, cos it's rather hot...very very hot.... ok lah, decided to take cab home, walked to Amara hotel taxi stand and flagged down a cab driven by this fellow named CHAN. REally cannot believe it, we talked about religion again all the way till I reach home, he started the topic I swear. And even when I reached home, we still talked awhile longer in his cab. He even mentioned he's a 3 sec person just like me, and that we have to find passion in the things we do to stay on. And he tot he's the only one, but he met me today! Also when I was about to leave his vehicle, he asked me whether I'm baptised or going to...I told him I'm ready to do that. But how le? Will find out la!Haha... CAnnot believe it. And the best part, he only charged me $6, when the fare is actually $6.70. God bless la!!!

In conclusion, today I met 2 ppl who told me about their GOD and that all GOD are all the same, jus that You feel happy with your own beliefs. Well , I am! I'm happy in believing Jesus and to learn more about Jesus. And I'm sad when I left that book behind. About that bible colleague thingy, that's far too much for the time being, may consider. But can study and don become pastor? And Piggy I guess he's sad and claimed that I've changed. And I disagree with him, and I will don care sorry to say... I'm happy with my God. I am still what I am, I am still Qoochan. The same outlook, but maybe not the same thinking anymore. Yeh...I'm going to the journey of faith with Fat 2molow. And then to bible study at Rock. Finally have my own bible.

Thank you LOrd for blessing me so much. I know it's all your work and letting me see things. I feel very blessed to have you as my father. My saviour. Thank you Lord!! Amen!!!

The evil Devil

2005-08-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

I am sad, real sad, cos I left a book behind in LA which I had bought in Las Vegas. And Yes...I've just came back from my Vegas, La trip. It's been 8 days, seems so long. Was not so long when I was flying with Ber. I lost US$120 on slot machines and I'm not sad. I was never so sad over a book, cos I have never like reading books. But this book which I have bought in Vegas Premium outlet, made me understand more about Jesus. And It was so interesting. I had it by my pillow in vegas, and by my bedside in LA. And when I left for Jap, I did check my room once again for left behinds. And I've never or not so many a times to be so forgetful to leave things behind and feel so sad about it. Hearing from my colleague that I may not get it back, makes me feel more sad. Blame it on the devil, the stupid devil who was being plain jealous and blinded my eyes for not seeing the book and packing it into my bag.
Blame the stupid and ignorrant devil to stop me to look upon Jesus. COS he's getting no where. He's trying too hard. I'm sorry, U r not getting anywhere devil. FAT chance. The most if i'm
not getting my book back, I will go buy again. Lord bless me with a vegas flight so that I can get the book to know more about you. Hmp.... ne..ne...ne...ne...ne....I win devil!!! (tongue sticking out).

Waiting...

2005-08-24T00:39:00.000+08:00

Waiting for the bus to go to school, waiting for the mrt to go to work. Waiting and waiting..that's what we all are doing everytime. But one thing that is to wait for someone to reply the mail or even your phone call is the stupidest thing to do I think....And especially waiting for a guy... that's downright stupid. I'm sorry I've given up the waiting. I'm moving on. I've never waitied for a guy, and it will be my first and last time. Why did I realise in the first place? That I don't really have to go throught all this. But this is the way of life, how God plans things. Now I just will look upon him, unto him. The waiting game. I am a person with no patience and I prayed for patience, God didn't just gave me patience like that, he made me go through and now, still not so late that I realised. Now I will just wait upon God to guide me to the wonderful things that He has in mind. All wonderful and happy things..... Love U ABA!!! Amen!

Qoochan almost evaporated

2005-08-16T11:31:00.000+08:00

Wee...Qoo~..... went sun tanning cum picnic ing with my frens at Sentosa, berlinda and erica yesterday. I brought japanese seaweed fried chicken and bean curd skin fried chicken(it was delicious, Erica brought Ji Pai(chicken pie) and some vegetarian puff(delicious) and Ber brought sandwiches, (not so delicious but priceless....) It was really f***ing hot as commented by berlinda, always so sweet one...haha... Well, at least I did get myself abit tan la, at first still kao peh kao bu, "burnt, I'm burnt! Ah...so...so...red, so hot, so...so...painful" All the way to the bathing area, even during showering. And only Erica being the OnZ buddy reply me, Berlinda already gave up...haha....so stop replying to my nonsense. I know it's noisy in the bath area, the sand area, and all other areas.... And I'm the one being NOISY lor!!! That's what Qoo~ is like...being noisy and be happy...haha.... To be happy is to be noisy but not irritating. It's different U know?! Blessed that I am the noisy happy one and not the I.R.R.T.A.T.I.N.G, noisy one....haha...
And after sun tanning, actualy I feel like touring the island, cos it's been 2 years that I last been there. Also U paid for the bus fare ya, cum the entrance fee, $3. Although it's not BIG amt, but at least u paid for it, must tour ya? (Typical Sinaporean=Qoochan) But too bad, skies turning dark when we almost finished showering, and Ber said that it's better we leave the island...:( till den Sentosa, I shall visit u again...ta..ta..
Den after showering,we boarded the yellow bus back to main land and took SBS bus 97? to near esplanade, consider river side for dinner. It was only 1600 when we ordered, and Ber said dinner lor? Dinner at 1600? Ok lor... I ordered seafood spagetti and mocha for later...yum..yum.... Ber actually ordered ice cream for dinner. Is it normal having ice cream for dinner only? Hm... Erica? Nvm what she eat la, haha...well she ate some untasty spagetti( any spagetti not tomato based is catatogarized as untasty by Qoochan). After dinner, we are off to esplanade for more nonsense. Forget the nonsense, cos it's only interesting watching the videos I took. Then, we went to Marina Sq for KTV. My God, marina Sq really changed alot. Looking back that when Qoochan was waiting to go into poly, Qoochan worked part-time in Metro.. Oh...so long~ And in Marina Sq itself, it really changed loads. The exterior is still the same but the interior has revamped. Qoo~
After Ktv was about 2100 when we have to end. We were all so tired.... but...it was a fruitful day!

What are frens?

2005-08-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

Have it ever occured to you not having frens at all, well don't say don't have lah, just hard to get galfrens? Or U have loads of guy frens? But just not close galfrens whereby u can share close gals talk? Let me tell a story: Long long time again, there were 5 fingers. (so imagine the whole hand). The 4 fingers, index, middle, ring and little fingers were like best of frens. And although the thumb is also one of them , but because of the little gap, they so much so don't really let the thumb join in much. One day, middle finger left the group for good, and u know la, thumb tot she could join in and maybe be upgraded to the middle finger for good. But...who knows what...a mystery finger came along and somemore a foreign country one came along, and easily fitted into the middle finger. And thumb once again feel so rejected. But did the other fingers ever thought of how thumb feels? Do they ever think about her? Cares about her? They will always make remarks saying thumb is always out of the group cos she cannot keep up the topic, for example, now they are talking about bags, den guys and thumb will not be able to catch up. And thumb is being so straight forward that they feels it's all thumb's fault. Thumb should change her character cos that's how she will be able to join the group. But how can anyone jus change their character overnight? It's all ass...and bullsh**. Anyway thumb never realises that one MAN up there will never ever forget her. And will love her soooo much.... that the other fingers love cannot compare. Thumb only realises it now. The love that is unconditioned.

"do not care so much about what other people says, sometimes, it's easier said then done"

What is Life?

2005-08-09T14:48:00.000+08:00

What is life? How do you define life? Tom Hanks said that Life is like a box of chocolate, you will have no idea what flavour you can find in there and so many to choose from. For me? I feel that Life is like a series of unfortunate events. Like one of my friend, his love life is really "A Series of unfortunate events". Although we can only be just frens, but It's also God's gift. For me to meet him. So... Mr block, I wish you all the best in your love life, try to be more lively and stop standing there like a tree. Although there's a saying that God makes the decision for you that if HIS yours,HE will be yours. But still It's up to You to grab the chance. Even if God has planned the way for you,but still you choose to jus stay in you couch, there will never be end results. ALthough I feel that life is a series of unfortunate events, but after the storm there will always be sunlight and rainbows, cos rainbows is made out of rain and sun!!! Last time, I feel that life is so boring, I do not have best frens, or even close frens who will listen to you and give you advice. I feel that I don have them. I feel that I don't even have ppl to think of me and care for me. But thinking back now, I do see a change, I DO have best frens, or even close frens. ALthough I can't be always meeting you guys, but when I really needed you all, You are all always there for me. KAy...piggy.....and stella.....Thank you all... and recently I've met new frens and still more to come, cos I know it's all GOD's idea. Thank you father for blessing me with all these ppl who care and YOU who care so much and love me so much too. Thank you. Also the urge for me to know more about you, and knowing of ppl who are from New creation, especially Ber BEr.... Jus happy to to have known you.An aquaintance of a bottle of water and an opened pack of animal biscuit. ~

What is his problem?

2005-08-06T14:00:00.000+08:00

I feel like killing someone right now. But as a child of Christ, I have to stop this thinking, and it's hard. What is his problem? Keeps making me so angry and opposing me. I really don wanna stay home at all. Keep feeding my dog bread, and now strawberry jam bread. I jus cursed my dog, I hold her head and shout at her to die, either she die first if not it's me. But if I really do, I'd hurt my mum's feelings, and if my Ginger is to go 1st, I will not want to live anymore too.
I used to have the negative thoughts of ending my life. But thinking back now, it's jus too plain stupid to end my life like that. I will hurt my mum and my frens who once loved me so much.Why must I end my life for an old man who always makes my blood boils? And when he sees that when he makes me angry, he will feel happy. Why can't I jus don care about him? Why can't I jus ignore him? Why can't I jus look upon God? So many 'whys'.... No one can help me. No one can help except God. No one can help in anyone's family affairs. Everyone has problem with their family, not jus me. Now then I realise. It jus seems that you cannot find any hapy families now. Jus seems that they may look happy on the outside, but there's always a dark side in them. Either... the families' parents are divorced, drinking and violence problem with the old man, and stressed out mum. What has this world come to? It's really not like last time, whereby everyone is just pure and innocent. Really I regret growing up so fast. I jus wanna stay as I am in my age now. Don wanna grow up with so much stress. But now I tell myself, these are jus challenges from God and I'm fighting them just fine. It's really funny, I keep having this feeling that I'm Soooooo happy going to work. Away from the old man, away from the shoutings and away from even seeing him. No one can help, yes I understand, I can only look upon God to give me guidance. I can only find peace then.
I have discussed with my mum before how I hate our family,and she explained it's even worse for others. And people try looking around, can you find any family around you that seems so happy without stress? No I don think so. Maybe there is, but only on the outside. For mine, it's only the noisy old man,who is so old and even his son is not visiting him,and he blames my mum for telling tales to his son to not come visit him. But come on, old man, face the fact!!! It's YOU..you made this all happen. the old man jus won't face the fact. I look down on him.! If he dares once again turn his anger into violence? I'm sorry Lord, I'd not let him off. I cannot forgive. No one in the right mind can. I longed to have my own life, but can I handle it? I will miss my mum of cos, her smell..(laundry), her food, and lots more. When will I be free?

Yipee...going to work soon~

2005-08-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

Yipee....going to work 2molow liao. I feel happy going to work. Well Ppl will wonder, who the hell is happy going to work or skool? well..me loh! I enjoyed my job and simply i loved it. That is call professionlism ok? Picture me, in my pretty uniform, and the next picture, u see me trashing the rubbish or cleaning the toilet, both hands with the plastic glove, left hand armed with toilet paper and stuffs, right hand armed with tongs. Hahaha... Sometimes Ppl r being plain jealous that I enjoy my job, although it sucks but u can don see it that way de ma. Yes, I do agree I'm always crazy at work, but there's also a serious side of me, and when i'm serious, ppl don take me serious, they tot I'm joking. So y bother, ya? I'm finally leaving my noisy house for work...yipeee....(like how charlie's grandpa sounds in charlie and the chocolate factory.) Ya...and I went to GV tiong bahru today and watched Charlie and the Chocolate factory alone. Hm..It's the 2nd time I watch a movie alone. I conqured the 1st movie A series of unfortunate events. Hm...a very meaningful movie to me at that time. Jus felt that a fren of mine, his life is just like a series of unfortunate events. Hiyah...cannot blame him la, it's just his life. But I pray that he will have a change in life and meet his dream gal ba! I also pray that my cough will recover cos I've been coughing sinceI came back from vegas. I've tried drinking barley water, chyrsanthem tea, lou han gou drink, which my mum boiled. And jus now for the first time, I went to the chinese medical hall for a powdered black drink. I've tried everything I can, ate all throat soothing sweets. Still the cough is to stay. I hope it's not staying for good hoh?! I keep coughing till my right head hurts and my throat too.
Another thing to worry is my baby Ginger, she's itching so much, I have no idea why. Is her skin sensative to all the junks my old man feeds her? or she just have skin disease. How ah, how to help my poor baby?
Also la, my itchy finger did something to the language bar thingy and now I lost my chinese character typing. DAmn.... how to retrieve back huh? I've tried everything le, God pls bless me with a computer expert who can help me with this and also bless me that my cough will go away..pls...pls..pls..lord! In jesus name, Amen!!! Nite!

Poor Qoo

2005-08-04T13:11:00.000+08:00

Poor Qoo~ am sick from vegas. So damn f***ing hot there le... 40deg C. Alamak, I drank alot of water ok, for the 1st time in my life I drank a gallon of water, that is like 3/4 of the tub U find in ur office dispenser. Kao...~ still coughing like mad. Poor Qoo~ been coughing for a week, after seeing doc on monday, and eating medi and in coma for 2 days. The flu medi super duper strong..I like it. I only woke up to pass water and taking in food, the rest of the time? am in my dreamland. I miss going out... hiyah~ still 2 more days to rest before work. Sometimes jus wondering, Y r we working so hard for our f*** up company. We r sick and we cannot take MC, well they put it that it's best to cover ur MC with ur leave, so it does not affect ur contract. What bullshit? Recently, I jus received a piece of good quality hard paper from company, thanking me for providing my most utmost effort in the company for the past 3 years. KAo~ was thinking...just like that? For 3years never take MC, just like that? Just a piece of paper that's all? Not even A4, half of A4. No voucher or anything..anyway company being niao la. During Sars period, I understand the reason for cutting cost, but now le? Still cutting cost. Cut cut cut...cut our cost and what? Live in an apartment in orchard road??? These people still exist ok?! They are just right under your nose. Cutting our cost and increasing their cost.What to do? We r workers only ma! At least if the boss is no good, but what we all feel is that for the very least, he can don't put us down all the time. I kana a few times, eg: "Pls write good things about Qoo chan, but I think IT'S VERY HARD TO FIND!!!" WAh Kao~! Who does he think he is to judge me like that? FATASS!!! You only know how to eat on your job, from the front to the back. And your work sucks too ok? It's not that I have anything against the "Ah No Ne" I have nothing against them at all, in fact I like them. Well It's just him lo!!! Everyone is so afraid to tell on him, becos they fear they lose their jobs. It's just seems like everywhere you go, is so dark..so 黑暗。I also fear that after typing this acticle, someone might backstab me, but what the heck? I guess I've been stabbed before, and already got blood, with the knief still sticking on my back, but I jus still never realise it and treat this "people" like friends. Now I understand the term of "friends" and "colleauges". Not everyone you meet is your friends ok? They may not think the same way as you are. It's still not too late to know. It's never too late to know!!! There's one friend whom you will never lose.... a friend for a lifetime... Jesus Christ.

Ways to annoy people...Try it

2005-08-02T21:54:00.000+08:00

Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Specify that your drive-through order is "take-away".
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property.
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Leave your turn signal on for 5hundred kilometres.
Name your dog "Dog".
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of disinfecter.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant.
Erect an elaborate network of strings in your office, and tell your neighbors you are a "spider person".
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a husky 阿杜 voice.
To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair dryer at passing traffic, and watch it slow down.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock.
When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave.

Especially like the last one, that's not annoying, that's just plain crazy!

Know more about Qoo

2005-08-02T14:42:00.000+08:00

Qoo white grape Juice drink contains water, sucrose, white grape juice, calcium lactate, citric acid, flavourings, Vitamin C, B complexand natural colouring. With no added preservatives and contains permitted food additives of non-animal origin.

Nutritional Facts about me....

Energy....................................45kcal
Protein....................................Og
FATS.......................................Og
Carbohydrates.......................11.2g
Calcium...................................42mg
Vit C........................................2.5mg
Vit B3......................................1.4mg
Vit B6......................................O.22mg

Best served chilled..... Brain freeze

Fairly about me.

2005-08-02T14:20:00.000+08:00

Well I cannot lie about myself though, I cannot describe myself as simple looking, cos I'm more than simple looking, with good dress sense & taste. I also cannot lie that I am fat & ugly, cos I'm happy with my looks & am 1.68m tall. With such long and fair legs that God has given me, I really cannot lie and complain that I am short and have 5cts and 10cts on my legs. Praise the Lord that I do not have all these. Rather I am proud to announce to my friends who call me plastic legs last time, the fact they call me that is becos they are jus plain jealous that they do not have silky long legs like I do. Sorry Folks, dat you all still need to buy shaving cream for your hairy legs. well..God is fair u know? I love u jesus!!!

Swa Qoo me(saying myself swa gu la)

2005-08-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

This is my first blog, first time blogging, hajimete desu...yoroshiku onegai itashimasu!!! Didn't even know how to create an account, but with the help of my Ber ber....kekeke... Not bf la. My cute, sweet and beautiful friend that GOd has given me. She has taught me, after reading her blog, I decide that I chall create one of my own too.... Hm...where to start le? No inspiration now lah, maybe after my meeting with 周公， I may have the inspiration tommorrow morning!!!